leukaemia-limbo-dance

In an attempt to regulate pain relief for John, I got up early this morning to make sure that his regular dose of the slow-release morphine and paracetamol were administered early enough so that pain wouldn’t emerge during the morning. Ha! In my dreams.

John had slept through and not picked up his night-time paracetamol, which meant that he’d gone ten hours without anything. He felt fine for an hour or so but then pain kicked in and so the morphine bottle came out – a similar pattern to yesterday, really, with a top-up half-way through the morning. “We need to chat to Julie,” said John, referring to the MacMillan nurse, “to check on doses and what to expect. I am not enjoying this….”

No, it’s not best to be struggling, is it?

Anyway, the ol’ man felt a bit better by the time that Dave and Chris arrived, and we spent a very enjoyable few hours in their company. A spot of lunch, a good old natter and cake! Once again, Chris came up trumps and brought us coffee and walnut cake – one of my favourites. She had been thinking of us, too, and trying to read between the lines. What do the Sleaths need? She came up with a chicken casserole – well, what a good idea! Saves me having to think or cook from scratch for a day or two.

Dave acted as chauffeur this afternoon and transported John to the surgery for his hormone injection, leaving Chris and me to have a good gossip. That was nice for me – not so nice for John.

Naturally, John was keen to show Dave the Lotus, and Dave was keen to see it, so they spent a little while in the garage admiring the handiwork and generally re-living their youth.

Once Dave and Chris left, the slump set in and pain emerged with a vengeance. Poor John has been struggling most of the evening and finally, at half past eight, said he was off to bed. I conned my list of drugs to make sure I’d done everything that could be done, and offered a half-dose of morphine as he settled into bed. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that that will settle things down. We’ll see.

Another day of ups and downs really, but so lovely to see dear friends who offer us so much support.

Take care everyone. God bless.

Neither John nor I were up to much this morning and we sat downstairs, goggling the box until our eyes were square. “I need to go and buy milk,” I said – over and over again, while all the while still sitting on my bum until it was nearly numb.

John, meanwhile, was struggling and in discomfort for much of the morning. The morphine came out but even that didn’t work straight away, and a second dose had to be administered.

Finally, about lunchtime, John felt a bit better and I got out into the sunshine to toddle up to the shops for the milk.

We were expecting the family this afternoon for birthday celebrations – and I literally only had to buy milk. Danielle had bought most of the grub for the birthday tea, and Paul had bought the rest.

Danielle had also made the cake and she shared a photo of it early this morning, with two little boys, having helped the process by licking out the bowl, looking as excited as I don’t know what! Nothing more exciting than Daddy’s birthday, eh?

The Kenilworth Newbies arrived mid-afternoon and Danielle got on with prepping a lovely birthday tea, while I enjoyed time with the grandchildren – especially dandling Oliver on my knee and blowing up the balloons with William and Thomas.

The Kenilworth Originals arrived (including all the girls which thrilled us to bits) with the rest of the food, and tea was served, birthday cake candles were lit and ‘Happy Birthday’ was sung to dear, darling Michael.

Here is the ceremonial cake cutting – it looks like a very serious business, doesn’t it? Oliver was particularly keen to get at the cake and Michael and Freddie were having to hold him off…..hehehehe!

We had a lovely time together – nothing frantic – just a gentle afternoon to suit our mood. Until, of course, we started watching the rugby. Gosh, that nearly went to the wire, didn’t it? My nerves were shredding more and more the nearer to full-time it came, so I played the ‘lava’ game with Thomas and dandled Oliver some more. Freddie and William were glued to an iPad, building a town, and oblivious to the tensions of the room..….

We were very happy to have the family at home with us. We are so very blessed to have such a fabulous family, aren’t we? And gosh, how we love them all!

Take care everyone. If you have any healing or soothing vibes, prayers or thoughts, please send them John’s way. He could do with them right now – that blooming leg, and now his back, is giving him gyp! God bless.

We’re taking each day as it comes. And that’s not too bad, all told. We’re trying not to look back and regret what’s passed; as well as trying not to look forward and regret what’s not to come. It’s a tough one, but living in the moment is what everyone tells us to do, so we’re doing our best.

I was thrilled, therefore, when a bunch of flowers popped through the letterbox on Thursday from Christiana, and I have been able to enjoy them every day so far. Pretty, aren’t they? And the stocks smell so divine!!!

Yesterday was a good example of trying to live ‘in the moment’, too. John wasn’t feeling great. He’d had the Covid and Flu jabs the day before and was feeling pretty washed out. However, we’d arranged to see Richard and Jill, and neither of us wanted to cancel, so we said, ‘Yes, please come.’

Well, it proved to be the right decision, because we were delighted to see them. They were very good company, brought delicious food with them for lunch, and had good conversation. Not only that, but they were game for keeping John company while I went for a massage in the afternoon – even though it meant that they’d be snarled up in the Friday night traffic jams.

Even though John was under the weather and tired, and I was feeling stressed, we both enjoyed the day with old friends and were glad they’d been.

Today has been a similar story in that we’ve crossed each bridge as it’s come along. We hadn’t planned to see anyone today other than to go to the furniture shop in Kenilworth to buy a mattress. Michael phoned just before we set off and we could hear the family in the background. William was disgruntled at having to give up on his TV watching, so there was a suggestion of ‘making a TV’. Boxes are definitely the best for that. Need a box? We’ve got one or two, so we dropped a couple in.

Here they are, playing at working at the TV studios. Thomas was operating the ‘remote’ while William was the commentator and action man for some racing cars. Hehe – lovely!!

We did go into the furniture shop and buy the mattress – delivery will be in about a month, fingers crossed. Hopefully, the new one will stop us bouncing about whenever either of us turn over! We felt we did well.

Once we were home, we had a bit of a rest, and then John, feeling a bit better, said he was going into the garage to see if he could do a bit on the car. A little while later, he came in and asked if I could give him a hand. Well, that was hilarious! We were trying unbolt the vacuum pump that works the headlamps. Naturally, it wasn’t very accessible, so there we were, bums in the air, furkling in the belly of the engine when Peter wandered into the garage, chuckling at the scene.

Well thank goodness for Peter. He helped us unscrew the bolts and remove the gubbins, so we were pretty grateful “I hope your back is OK after leaning over the car, Peter,” I said. Peter arched his eyebrows at me and gave a wry smile, “I’ll let you know tomorrow,” he said.

We were chuffed with the work we’d done though. It was hard, but we’d had success. That makes a change! Nice to have a successful day and acknowledge how well we’d done. Living in the moment? Tick.

Take care everyone. God bless

We took it easy this morning – John had a bit of a well-deserved lie-in while I braved the downstairs by 9.30 this morning. Early, eh?

Paul came round to keep John company while I went to yoga, arriving about 10.15. “Ok,” he said, “where’s this list of jobs you want me to do then? The ‘heavy lifting’ jobs?” Ha! I had, what I thought was, a very long list of ‘lifting’ jobs and things that would take me for ever to do. Paul polished them off in no time at all. Yippee!!

The brash from the bottom of the garden, the rubble at the side of the house and the old rags from the garage, all went into the back of Paul’s car to go to the tip. That took him five minutes. The rock that was at the front of the house, and which I’d been eyeing up for months to take and put by the pond? Easy-peasy. A two-minute job. The Hallowe’en box from the loft took a bit longer. Of course, we can’t find anything up there, because it’s such a mess. But it didn’t take Paul long to find it and bring it down the stairs. Turning the mattress? I wasn’t here to witness the event, but I don’t think that took long either. Mind you, although Paul had the strength to do that job, he did admit it was a bit unwieldy – it’s got a mind of its own, that mattress! And finally, the job I thought we might leave until another day, was also tackled successfully – we now have the cap back on the staddlestone. Ooh, and it does look good! Chuffed to bits with that.

All in all, by the time I got back from yoga, the boys were sitting comfortably in the lounge feeling very well-satisfied.

Paul left at lunch-time, so John and I had a bite to eat before he had a snooze and I pottered about. With my mind cleared of quite a few of the jobs that have been haunting me for months, I felt able to have a look into one of the boxes of bits I’d got stashed in Andrew’s room. Toby Jugs were put on display, mugs that I’d had formerly placed on display went into the cupboard to be used, and other bits were popped into the charity bag. It’s been a good day’s work.

All seemed well and hunky-dory as I meandered about sorting to my heart’s content, rummaging through books, picking some out for charity, browsing through some others, when I had a niggly feeling that we were supposed to be doing something. I checked the calendar. Oops! Darn it! We’d missed the ten past one appointment at the surgery for John’s hormone injection and it was now 3.41 – just the appointment time for his Covid and Flu jabs.

I woke John up and we rushed down to the surgery a bit late, all a-fluster. It didn’t do John any good whatsoever, Not only were the anxiety levels raised because we were late, but I wheeled him into the surgery in the wheelchair, which he was none too happy about. Dr Horsley was there with a nurse and they made too many sympathetic noises about John’s situation, his breathing, his capacity to come to the surgery and so on, that it thoroughly upset the ol’ man.

“Let’s go and see Pete and Dawn,” John said, as we sat in the car waiting for him to get his breath back. Reasonable conversation was what we needed. Fortunately for us, the Crosses were available and willing to offer us a cuppa. Their wonderful company helped and John felt a bit better as the afternoon wore on.

Once we were home, John thought he’d have a stroll down to the man-shed to drill a hole in a piece of metal. Well, that turned out to be hard work. He had to walk down to the bottom of the garden with the extension lead to enable some power down there; then he had to walk back up and get said piece of metal, before walking back down again to drill the hole in it. “Tea’s ready,” I said, as I met him just coming out of the man-shed, and he walked back up the path again. All that walking! His poor old back wasn’t so keen on the exercise, I can tell you, and his mood wasn’t lightened.

John hasn’t had the best evening and opted to go to bed early. We’re hoping for a better day tomorrow when we have guests arriving. Fingers crossed they brighten us up.

Take care everyone. God bless.

Yesterday was a much-appreciated ‘helping’ day.

I shot off to yoga in the morning just as John’s ‘chatty chappy’, Harry from MacMillan, came and talked to John for a couple of hours. That was great – their discussions range all over but they have a common interest in the rugby, so there’s all sorts to talk about there – who’s on form, who’s going to be dropped from the team, what shape the team is in, how the scrum is holding up, should they be adopting the kicking game or not, and so on.

No sooner had I got back from yoga than the MacMillan Nurse arrived. That was also very helpful. She is really lovely and has a lot of answers to our questions. John was satisfied that he’d had all his questions addressed and I was able to tick everything off on my list, too.

David and Darrel arrived mid-afternoon. John had texted David to ask if he could give us a hand with one or two jobs and we were very pleased when he said ‘yes’.

He mended the hinge on the bedroom window with the new fixing that had been sulking on the windowsill all summer; he glued together the paving slabs on the steps – finishing the job that John had started; he replaced the awkward light bulbs in the kitchen; tackled the recalcitrant weeds on the patio; and Darrell did a bit more lawn-mowing over the bits that Jack and I had overlooked.

We had a fish ‘n chip supper and David was chatty which boosted John’s spirits, so that was good. I was a bit worried that the chat might have overtired John, but he said, ‘no’ it was all OK. That was nice. And David said he’d come again if there were more jobs to do. Ta-da!! Wonderful.

This morning we were up early and on the road to Heartlands for immunoglobulin treatment. It all went well, except that painkillers were overlooked during the morning and by the time John was due to leave, he no longer had the capacity to walk. “Would you like a wheelchair to the car, John?” they asked. “Yes, please,” replied John, disappointed that he’d had to accept.

We fed him painkillers and his lunchtime tablets, had a spot of lunch and watch a bit of TV. I said I’d pop upstairs to write the Quiz for this evening and John said he’d go into the garage to fiddle about with and mend another ‘gubbins’ for the Lotus. Righty-ho.

Meantime, Paul had phoned to say that he, Harriet and Freddie would call in after school. By the time Paul arrived, John was out of the garage and sitting on the sofa in some pain. Paul came upstairs to me and asked what pain relief was available at that time of day. More paracetamol was within the allowance, so he had that. But about three-quarters of an hour later he was still in pain, so we sought out the morphine and administered that. It took a while, but eventually the pain went off.

We had a nice time with the family and Freddie practised his keyboard skills again. He did particularly well on ‘The Grand Old Duke of York’ and I was able to sing along at just the right pace. Good job.

Fortunately, John felt up to doing the Quiz tonight and joined in well. However, he was still struggling a bit so not all his answers were heard by the team and some repetition was required. He was knackered by the end of it and was delighted to get into bed as soon as it was finished.

‘Let us know if you need us to do anything’ is now the refrain from most of our friends, for which we are extremely grateful. We are not always sure what people can do, but if and when we think of things we might well be asking…..

Take care everyone. God bless.

John has felt shattered all day. It wasn’t so bad as we lay in bed this morning until about ten-thirty, but fatigue set in as he got out of bed and had a shower. By heck, it took it out of him. So much so, that he spent most of the day in the chair with his eyes closed.

I don’t know what I’ve been doing all day but it feels like I’ve been busy. However, one thing I do remember doing was little bit of admin on our, and Mum’s affairs this afternoon, so I nipped up to the post office to send some documents off.

John had decided by then that he was keen to do something. He opened the patio doors and I left him gazing out at ‘the estate’ and basking in the warm sunshine. He thought he might venture out and do a spot of weeding again. “Will you wait until I get back?” I asked. “We’ll see,” he said, not wanting to commit himself to being nannied.

When I arrived back, not only was he outside but he’d lifted a couple of slabs on the steps that lead down to the patio to try and glue them into place. They’ve been very wobbly of late, and so we bought some stuff called ‘Sticks Like Sh*t’ to stop ’em wobbling. We’re not sure how successful the job has been, but one of them seems OK, at least.

The evening was spent much like the afternoon. Telly on, eyes closed with the occasional moments viewing. Now he’s in bed with a few moans and groans, as his leg, hip and back bother him. The morphine is at the ready.

Take care everyone – and may God bless us all.

There was no reason to get up early this morning, so we dawdled in bed for a while, taking our pains aux raisins back to bed for breakfast. Time went by and we suddenly thought we ought to get up. We’d promised to drop in on Michael for a cuppa about 11 o’clock. John got up and got dressed and I decided, at the last minute, to get a shower, so we were delayed in setting off.

Michael had warned us that the children were under the weather so he gave us the option to cry off. John was keen to go, however – he expected that the grandchildren and Michael would bring light relief to his continued darkened mood. We planned to sit out in the garden, avoid kissing and cuddling the children and, fingers crossed, we hoped not to catch whatever lurgy they’d got lurking in their runny noses.

We had a lovely hour with them, sitting out in the very warm sunshine and chatting to the family. We upgraded the bird feeder from a vessel that was sprouting the seed to one where the seed was free-flowing; we watched a snail make an interesting journey from a plastic bucket to the grass; and listened carefully to all the tales the children had to tell – including Oliver, who was shouting at the top of his voice to be heard.

John had a nice gentle chat with Michael and I think it helped him get a slightly different perspective.

Regrettably, an hour was long enough. John’s hip/leg was starting to hurt and the low garden furniture wasn’t brilliant for his sitting position, so we came away blowing kisses to everyone.

Home, and it was rest time. We had some lunch and considered what we might put on the telly to sleep through. Rugby was on so that was favourite. Fortunately, Pete came round with the gubbins he’d had another shot at mending for the Lotus. John had declared earlier in the day that, come what may, he was going to take the car for a spin – so Pete fitted the piece; John fired up the car; and off they went. Smashing!

They arrived back with a flourish, pulling onto the drive, with the engine sounding as sweet as a nut, purring beautifully. They were both smiling from ear to ear. Pete grinned, and said to me, “There you are. I’ve proved the car is safe to ride in, so now it’s your turn.” John took me for a spin then and very lovely it was, too. Nice to sit alongside hubby in the car of his dreams and remember our youth!!

Jack had come along with Pete to visit us, too. Not wanting to be rude, but wanting to get on with mowing my lawn, I asked to be excused from the car conversation. “Perhaps Jack can help you?” Pete proposed. “You can teach him how to use the lawnmower, if you like.” Well, what a cracking idea! Jack and I toddled out into the garden and Jack did the mowing while I ambled alongside to help identify the bits of grass that still needed cutting. He did a good job and in record time, too, so we were done and dusted and back in the house just before the boys set off for their jaunt.

The car being roadworthy has helped lift John’s mood a bit and the fact that he’s taken two passengers out in it has definitely made him feel it’s been worthwhile.

John completed his usefulness today by getting the weed killer out and having a go at the drive which is threatening to grow a jungle. He was amusing though. He sat on his four-wheeled walker and propelled himself along to all the bits that needed doing. And he didn’t fall off today! Result!

I also did a bit of weeding in the front garden, trying to remove a very pretty row of thistles that have taken hold. But they are little b****rs to get out, aren’t they? They seem to have very tenacious roots. “They’ll be back,” I observed to John as we went back into the house. “They’re still lurking under the surface of the soil….” Well, it’ll give me something to do, won’t it?

Take care everyone. God bless.

Naturally, we are bound to have ups and downs. Sometimes the downs are a bit too down though, so we are thrilled when our friends and family cheer us up.

Yesterday, we hopped in the car and toddled back to Warwick Hospital for John to have a second infusion of iron to combat the anaemia that was discovered when he was in hospital. “You’ll probably feel the benefit in about a week,” explained the nurse. Well, that would be good. I’m pretty sure that John’s anxiety and low mood will be improved if he has a proper blood supply.

As we pulled onto the drive after the treatment, we were delighted to see eldest son sitting in his car waiting for us. “I was about to phone you to find out where you were,” he grinned. “Ah… well, we’re here now!” I grinned back. It was lovely to see him, although he couldn’t stay long. He just had enough time to tell us all about the experience he and Harriet had had at the restaurant Andrew is working at, Ynyshir. They had thoroughly enjoyed it. “Is it the best restaurant that Andrew has worked at, do you think?” I asked. “Yes!” came the emphatic answer.

While Paul was with us, George and Sue arrived for the afternoon. They had come to help with the Lotus again. George had mended some gubbins or other and was keen to fit it. Pete Cross had also mended a different gubbins during the week and was keen to see if his handiwork had done the trick, so he came round as well. Made me giggle, seeing Pete and George with their heads together in the car, while John acted as foreman and Sue acted as foreman’s mate. I abandoned them all to the work and went off for massage.

I think the various gubbins on the car still need a bit of work, so we might have to invite George and Sue (and Pete) round again – which will suit us down to the ground. They are great company.

In between times, the doctor phoned to discuss the situation with John’s toe. “I’ll come and have a look,” he said. He came and had a look and promptly said, “Antibiotics,” and whizzed off again. More pills to make John rattle some more. He hardly needs breakfast, lunch or dinner – he’s full of tablets by the time those meals are served!

Anyway, after our guests had left, we went tired and we had an early night – not least because we were looking forward to Skype session with Graham and Gail this morning. “How about 9 a.m. your time, 7 a.m. ours?” Gail asked. Eeek…. just a tad early for us. Although we can get a wriggle on – for example, if we’ve to be at the hospital early, but generally, we’d rather not rush in the morning. There’s such a lot do before we get downstairs……

We had a lovely chat to G & G – it was nice to have a catch up – but John was tired, so we only chatted for just over an hour before we said our goodbyes. John was so tired, in fact, that he spent a good part of the day dozing. We put the rugby on this afternoon, but much of it went unwatched.

While John was snoozing, I took advantage of the lovely warm weather to mow the lawn. Our milkman, Steve, who normally does the lawns, is unwell at the moment and so we are left to our own devices until he’s better. “Can I borrow your lawn mower, please, Michael?” I pleaded. “Yup, of course!” Danielle dropped it round to ours this morning, so I was set up.

It’s not quite finished and it’s a bit ragged, but I was chuffed to have got the wilderness tamed. I’ll have another go tomorrow at the bits I missed! But just look at that sunshine!!

John also decided to take advantage of the lovely warm weather and, once he’d woken up, came outside with his new four-wheeled walking aid, sat upon its little seat, and started to hoe away some of the weeds nestling in between the pavers on the patio. I had my back to him when I heard a bit of a yell and a thump. I turned round to find him in a heap on the floor. He’d forgotten to put the brakes on, and the walker had slid away from him as he leaned just a bit too far forward.

Fortunately, he was OK and was able to get back up again with a bit of help and go back into the house to lick his wounds. It was upsetting though. These are the downs that impact on John’s mood. He feels helpless and hopeless and absolutely hates having to ask us all for help to do the jobs that he so easily did before he was unwell.

The rest of the day wasn’t the best. England took it to the wire in their rugby match and they played poorly, which didn’t help lift John up. We had no plans to see the kids this weekend as they are all busy with one thing and another, so he found that upsetting. And, to be honest, I am not sure I am always the best company for him – I mean, I was contentedly watching Strictly…..

“I’m going to bed,” John announced, just after nine o’clock. We started the bedtime routine and then I heard my phone ringing. I hoofed it downstairs to grab my phone – and it was Michael, phoning to see how we were. Well, what a boost for John that was. Although John still felt blue, he felt a slightly lighter shade of blue as he got into bed. Hurrah for those wonderful, unexpected moments of togetherness and beautiful love.

Here’s hoping that tomorrow brings a better mood – the weather might help, it’s supposed to be nice again!

Take care everyone. God bless.

Oh, dear – you know you’re getting old when a busy day is a yoga class and a visit to the solicitors – and then you’re tired out.

We took it steady this morning, getting out of bed and getting into the day before I set off for yoga. Margaret came while I was out and kept John company on her way back from her yoga class, which worked really well for us. John thoroughly enjoyed the chat and Margaret’s upbeat company.

As soon as I got back we got ready for a little trip: we hopped in the car to nip into Leamington – firstly, to call on Mum’s solicitor to get a notarised copy of her will; and then to our solicitor to sort out the dates on our wills.

All went well, although the effort for John was great and he was tired out by the visits – especially as he had trouble getting up from the rather low and soft sofa they had at the solicitors’ office. Bless him, it was a heave-ho moment and a gargantuan effort from him.

“I’ll just pop into Waitrose on the way back,” I said, “I’ll buy some nice bread and cakes for lunch.” Ha! So much for popping in! It took a little longer than I expected and John was asleep in the car by the time I’d finished shopping.

Home again and John slept all afternoon. I did the same as yesterday and ignored all the jobs and admin waiting for me and caught up on the TV programmes sitting on the planner – there’s an awful lot to catch up on!!

Disappointingly, John has been quite anxious again today and upset – thinking he’s been a ‘bad Dad’. No amount of telling him that he’s been a ‘good Dad’ will convince him otherwise. I’m hoping he’ll be a bit better tomorrow – we’ll see. He might have a festering toe by then though. I checked the toe he’d cut when he was trimming his nails the other day, and I wasn’t very happy with it. Might be a request for the doctor to check it out tomorrow. Hey-ho. We do like to keep the medics busy, don’t we?

Take care everyone. God bless.

We have had an interesting day today with a bit of this and a bit of that.

We had both been looking forward to seeing Pete and Dawn, who came round this morning, and they didn’t disappoint. It was lovely to see them and chew the cud as usual. For the boys, they had a great time talking tachometers. Pete has mended the one for the Lotus and he brought it round, all hopeful that it will work. We may have a go at fitting it on Friday when George and Sue come round – all being well, that is.

Despite the enjoyment of seeing our dear friends, John was very tired. He’d got up and had his breakfast, but soon afterwards was looking forward to a sit down in his chair and closing his eyes for the hour or so before our guests arrived.

After our guests left, John was again looking forward to closing his eyes again and, after lunch, did just that for most of the afternoon.

I, too, was weary, so instead of getting on with the jobs I know I’ve got to do, I sat alongside John and watched TV all afternoon, catching up on the TV programmes I’d missed recently.

Towards tea-time, John thought he’d try and have a potter in the garage. Two minutes later, he came back into the lounge. “Erm…. can you help?” he wanted to know, “I’ve lost the arm rest from the scooter – not sure where it’s gone. Can we re-trace our steps of yesterday to have a look for it?” So we wandered down the road to the doctor’s surgery and back, looking all the way for the errant arm rest. No luck. I was confident, however, that we’d find it in the garage. No luck there either, darn it. It seems to be lost. We’ll be having a look on Mr Google for a replacement tomorrow……

This evening was Quiz Night. We had been very much looking forward to it after a week or two hiatus in proceedings, and it was a delight to catch up with everyone again. For a while, John’s anxiety held sway and he felt unable to join in immediately, but he soon got going and the Quiz went along with a swing. Great fun, and we enjoyed the company.

The evening was a bit too long for John though, so no sooner had the Quiz finished than we said our goodbyes and logged off from Zoom so that we could get ready for bed. That takes a while these days!! Who’d have thought it, eh?

Take care everyone. God bless.