leukaemia-limbo-dance

Although we had an exciting day yesterday which lifted our spirits, we still feel very tired. It’s not as though we are doing any heavy jobs at the moment, it’s just the ‘same old, same old’, that’s getting to us. And it’s a struggle to stay cheerful and positive all the time – that takes an inordinate amount of energy. We don’t seem to get interested in anything much, even though we know that there is still plenty to be cheerful about, if we only looked. But I am hoping that, if the weather is better again next week, the sunshine will help.

I was embarrassed this morning, therefore, when we chatted to Graham and Gail on Skype, that I yawned my way through the whole two-hour conversation. It was lovely to see them, the conversation didn’t flag at all as we had plenty to talk about, and even Mum joined in, but yawn I did – no matter how much I tried to stifle the darned things.

Being Sunday, I had intended to ‘go to church’ and then stay afterwards to ‘Zoom’ in for coffee with everyone, having enjoyed it so much last week. But I didn’t get ready early enough to visit the on-line service before we were due to meet up with G & G at ten o’clock. And we were so busy chatting that eleven o’clock came and went. Then I made a conscious decision to stay talking to them, since we don’t see them very often. So church and coffee went by the wayside today.

After our chit-chat, we decided that today would be a day of rest. “Let’s catch up on a bit of TV viewing,” I said, as I scrolled through the numerous programmes we’ve recorded. Rona had suggested we might enjoy ‘The A Word’ so we settled down to watch that. In fact, we are very much enjoying it so far, but it’s quite a hard programme to watch, witnessing the family coming to terms with the diagnosis that their son has autism.

Other than chatting and watching TV, we have just drunk cups of tea and eaten good food all day. Mum thoroughly enjoyed her roast chicken dinner this evening, and she always surprises us, polishing off a whole, piled-high plateful, and then tucking into pudding.

John has also relaxed today – or, at least, he hasn’t really done many jobs. He did tinker with the headlining on the Lotus, but found he was thwarted again as he needs some bulldog clips to hold the thing in place as he stretches it along the rods. He had hope to use something else, perhaps something he’d got to hand here in the house or in his ‘man-shed’. But he soon came to realise the error of his ways as the little Lotus sniggered at him and said, “Nah, mate. Bulldog clips are what you need….” The bulldog clips are on order.

In terms of mood though, John is feeling a bit low. I don’t know if it’s because I am not so perky either, but he’s started shaking his head at the dinner table and wondering what it’s all about again. Oh dear. I mean, I know he does have cause to slide down into the abyss because he is still coughing well and feels less energetic that he’d like to. But he is strengthening his body really well at the moment doing some exercises and keeping interested in the car. I am hoping that these factors will keep his mood light, and that hope will hover on the horizon for him again as the sun shines next week.

I am always hopeful. So, once again, I hope that the unrest we are seeing everywhere will result in a more positive, kind and honest world once it is over. I hope that evil doesn’t come out the stronger. And, of course, I continue to hope that the virus will b****r off. Fat chance of that just yet though, I think.

At 5 o’clock yesterday, 1,326 people were confirmed as infected with COVID-19 and 77 people have died in all settings, according to the government figures. The NHS reported 16 deaths for the same period and confirmed 46 for the day before (5 June 2020).

I offer you the figures for reference and consistency, but we are not really sure how the counting is done or how accurate the numbers might be. The slowing rates of infection and deaths may not mean much though, if the recent unrest gives the virus a ‘whoopee’ moment and it gathers pace again. We are still in jail here….. but one day, one day……. as I say, I live in hope.

Charlie Mackesy says it all in one drawing……. and my heart aches.

I was in the slough of despondency yesterday, feeling tired of our day-to-day trudge through the current situation and guilty about my ignorance of world affairs. Today, however, offered hope and a lift to the trudging as well as some learning.

We had had few expectations of the day. The only thing that was planned, and we were looking forward to, was a Skype session with dear Peter and Dawn this evening. Otherwise, the day yawned ahead of us with ‘more of the same’. But, in the end, it turned out to be rather good.

Firstly, I had a short, but interesting, ‘path chat’ with Malcolm this morning, as he called to drop off a bit of shopping. Mindful of my intention to find out more about racism, particularly in this country, he highlighted some information about #BlackLivesMatter, which generated a bit of discussion both at my front door and here on the blog page.

Then, a little later on, just as I am up to my armpits in washing-up suds, the doorbell rang, and who should be standing at the door but the Sutton Sleaths, beaming their heads off. Surprise! Surprise! They had ventured out to a small, local bakery this morning and, not wanting to go straight home, had decided to take a run out in the car over to us. I do like surprises!! The weather wasn’t a great deal better than yesterday, but at least it was warmer. Oh, my! It was so wonderful to see them.

Not only did they bring themselves in person, but they brought a couple of photo albums that they’d had printed – one of their holiday in Wales before lock down, and one of the whole of lock down so far. A cracking idea, which means we can look at the photos whenever we’re missing them. They also brought us goodies from the bakery, as near to John’s paleo diet as they could get. For once, we didn’t really care how ‘paleo’ the goodies were. We were definitely going to eat them.

On the journey over, William had been learning how to throw us a hug and a kiss. And boy, did we get a lot of them when he arrived. So lovely. Then we had a good old socially distanced chat before we waved a sorrowful goodbye when it was time for them to go home. But our hearts have been refilled for a while and the visit, boosting our spirits no end, left us feeling better able to face the day ahead.

Mum, meanwhile, had snoozed through it all. I had woken her as usual, and she thought she might get up then. But slept on. I woke her again at mid-day and left her to get out of bed. But she dropped back to sleep again. Finally, just after what would be lunchtime, I went to see what she was up to, only to find she had fallen asleep again. This time, however, I didn’t leave anything to chance but hovered as she finally eased herself out of bed.

It was just as well, really, because not long afterwards, my phone rang on a WhatsApp video call. It was Paul and Freddie. Freddie was in a high state of excitement. He was so excited that he just about managed to stammer out that they were going to have a picnic at our house. For a moment, I thought we were going to do a ‘virtual’ picnic like we had once before. But no, this was for real.

Sure enough, a little while later, the Kenilworth Sleaths arrived – just as the heavens opened with a hailstorm. Ah. Best wait in the car then, until it passes. Once it stopped, we hurried about, wiping down the chairs in the garden and gathering wood to light the cheminea for a bit of warmth, before settling down to another wonderful family socially distanced chat.

Freddie had his picnic, and ran about the garden, thrilled be here again. He ate cherries like there was no tomorrow and grinned his cheeky little grin, his face covered in cherry juice, before setting off to play on the swing. Paul and Harriet had thoughtfully brought a bottle of Prosecco. Should I have any? Well, it would have been rude not to, wouldn’t it?

We gathered round the cheminea, keeping our distance, and keeping warm. The sun shone intermittently, and the wind blew, but we were glowing with happiness. Such another wonderful surprise today to see them face-to-face, as well as the Sutton Sleaths. Our cup runneth over…….

Of course, drinking Prosecco in the afternoon is always risky, isn’t it? I mean, I managed to cook the tea OK – but it was late. No sooner had we eaten than it was time to chat to Peter and Dawn. We had a lovely evening together, but there were moments when I felt my eyelids dropping…..and I had stopped drinking the Prosecco a couple of hours earlier, too!

On a promise to myself to learn something about what has brought our societies, here and in America, to protesting about the treatment of black people, I ordered a book from Amazon, which arrived this evening. Just one book – well, you’ve got to start somewhere, haven’t you? This time, it’s ‘My name is Why’ by Lemn Sissay. I don’t know what the next one will be, but there is a very long list emerging….. Thanks, too, to Mark, who knows about this stuff and has ideas for my education on the subject, and to Malcolm and George who threw information into the pot today. There’s lots to learn about.

Yesterday (5 June 2020) the NHS reported 17 deaths from COVID-19, with the previous day’s total having risen from 19 up to 53 confirmed. The government reported 204 deaths and 1,557 people having been infected.

The figures feel meaningless now, because each one is still a tragedy and yet we are no longer shocked that people are infected and die. All we can do though now is to be vigilant in keeping our distance and keeping our hands washed. God bless.

It’s been a funny old day. I don’t know how many times I have said that during lock down, but here it is again. Possibly the weather has had something to do with it – it’s been a very blustery day with squalling showers and I watched it closely all morning. I was watching to see if it looked like it might brighten up. But it didn’t. In the end, I texted the Sutton Sleaths, wondering if they might not make the longed-for trip over to see us this afternoon, as it was inclement and not conducive to sitting in the garden. Sadly, that was the case. We put on our brave faces.

At tea-time, however, Michael called via a video chat, intending just a few minutes’ catch-up, but which turned into a wonderful, three-quarters of an hour play time with William. We were at sea, in a boat with an anchor, a rudder, fishing rods and a steering wheel. We stopped off at various islands to seek out treasure, pacing out where ‘X’ marked the spot, and then carried the loot back to the boat. We caught fish and fought off the crocodiles and huge octopuses and kept ourselves safe. We fell overboard and had to be hauled back in, giggling and relieved that we’d not been eaten by the sea. What a journey; what a ride. No matter that they didn’t visit. William’s imagination and our thrill at being able to join in with him and Michael and Danielle made the physical visit obsolete today.

This morning was also ‘virtual’ activity. I had been puzzled by the fact that friends had been unable to comment on Wednesday’s blog. I fiddled about with it yesterday but was none the wiser. So our dear friend George logged on remotely to my computer this morning to see what he could fathom. It transpired that I had created a ‘page’ rather than a ‘post’. A ‘page’ of course, isn’t interactive, unlike a ‘post’. Ahhh…. I see! Sorted.

Making beds, putting the washing on, sorting the ironing out and prepping food all followed the virtual activity. I’d have loved for those tasks to have been virtual too and completed at the click of a button, but alas, it’s not to be. Mum wondered at tea-time why John and I were rubbing our eyes and holding our heads in our hands. I explained that we are tired, weary, exhausted. “Oh, why’s that?” she asked. “Well,” I explained, with a patience I wasn’t feeling, “we have been travelling a long road, and we’re very tired.” Mum was puzzled. “What road?” Ah…… I told her that we are weary of John’s illness(es); we’re tired of the lock down; we’re missing the family; and I’m particularly tired of keeping house. And, I added, I’m not going to bed very early.

“Oh… yes,” said Mum, triumphantly, “I’d noticed that. Why don’t you go to bed earlier, then?” I couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry. Gently, I reminded her that I waited until she went up to bed, helped her get ready and then switched her light off and tucked her in. And that by the time I’d done all that, it was midnight. “Well, you don’t have to wait up for me.” she replied, a little bit indignantly. Oh, dear.

I did manage to fend off World War Three as John joined in the discussion at that point, though. His deep voice and the odd ‘harrumph’ told her all she needed to know, and she was off into martyrdom. John wasn’t best pleased. After all, in the last few weeks he’s had to really swallow all those feelings he’s had over the years, to accommodate her in his home, and she has absolutely no idea what a sacrifice that is. She came to acknowledge though, that a midnight bedtime was too late, and she determined to go up to bed, by herself, at 10.30 to help me. A bit of a win today, but no doubt by tomorrow, she will have forgotten, and we’ll be back to square one.

John spent some time tinkering in the garage today, having excitedly opened all of the parcels relating to the ‘project’ and planned his next move. The painting of the rods for the headlining in the car had been successful the other day, and they are ready to be fitted. I didn’t understand it, but he fixed some piano wire into something or other this afternoon, in readiness for installing the headlining, and it went well. I love it when a plan comes together……. anyone remember who it was, who said that??

As I say, it’s been a funny old day – not least because Trump said, referring to George Floyd, who was killed while being arrested the other day, “……hopefully George is looking down right now and saying this is a great thing that’s happening….” Gobsmacked. I think that the man is mad. I wonder where it will all end, both here and in America.

I realise that I know very little about racism, #BlackLivesMatter, or how black people live their lives. Yesterday I recognised that I wanted to do ‘my bit’ but didn’t know what it looked like. Today, I have decided it doesn’t look like anything, but I am going to educate myself and read some books. At least I’ll have a better idea then, if nothing else.

We will need to get ready for the second wave of the virus though, I think, in the aftermath of the protests and the hot weather that brought people out recently, compromising the social distancing that is still needed. Today the government announced that there were 1,650 people infected, as of 5.pm. yesterday (4 June 2020), and 357 deaths in all settings. The NHS reported just 19 deaths in hospitals, but the figures for the previous days have been confirmed as 74 (3 June), 92 (2 June) and 81 (1 June).

God bless us now though, that we might all have the courage to share wisdom and truth, so that idiocy and lies are chased away.

Loo rolls. There was a shortage at the beginning of lock down and people were panic buying – remember that? Not me though, as we had taken delivery of a big box of them from ‘Who Gives A Crap’ just as it all began. I like to buy from them because it’s a little bit more ethical, using re-cycled paper and with profits going to charity.

The way it works is that they send you an email just before they are due to deliver. You say yes, that’s fine – or no, not just yet, and delay the order if you still have oodles of the things in your cupboards. The thing is, the email went into my junk folder, didn’t it, this time? So I didn’t say no, not just yet…… and I now have about 60 loo rolls lurking about the house. Mum is pleased. I have finally provided her with her own supply. She’s like a pig in clover.

I was sort of disappointed when the doorbell rang and it was only loo rolls this morning. I had hoped for a garage door. Nothing doing today though. I suppose it’ll all happen tomorrow just when we are taking John, his blood count and cough to clinic. Hoping not, as they’ll just drop it on the driveway I expect, if we are – and then what’ll we do?

On what has been a bit of a dank, dark day with the promised rain hardly amounting to anything at all so far, we spent our time indoors fiddling about with a mix of standard stuff (for me) and slightly more exciting stuff (for John). My day was made up of the standard washing, tidying and prepping food until tea-time, at which point I abandoned life downstairs. I raided the freezer, liberating one of the Magnums that I’d got nestling in there, and headed to my bedroom. It’s bad news when you’ve got to hide yourself away in your own home to enjoy a little treat, but I am not sharing those Magnums with anybody!!! It was illicit and delicious, I can tell you.

Whilst savouring my ice cream, I snuggled in bed and read my book. I am not tired, of course not. Not me. So how come I found my eyelids drooping and myself nodding off then? John came to see what I was up to. I’m awake! I’m awake, honest!! He was very kind. He offered to cook some tea for Mum – egg, chips and beans – which she loves. OK, thank you – and I’ll be down in a bit, I said. An hour later, I was woken from my second nap and blissful sleep by the front doorbell ringing in my ears. Crikey!! How was it that I’d fallen asleep again? I am not tired, honestly……

Whilst I was snoozing, John whiled away his time by sorting out the rods for his headlining on the Lotus. Very exciting. They just needed a little rub down where there was a bit of rust, and then a lick of paint. Can’t wait to see what they look like tomorrow. Step by step, little by little that car is going to be finished. By summer, John says. The only trouble is, he hasn’t said the summer of which year…….

In the end, the evening meal turned out to be an eventful affair. John carefully prepared the chips, I warmed up the baked beans in the microwave and then it was time to fry the eggs. The oil in the pan was a bit hot. The yolk on the first egg broke, and the white frilled up very nicely in the pan. I was doubtful. I didn’t think Mum would like it. You see, if it were just you or me, we’d say never mind, and we’d eat it. But that’s not how it works these days……. John threw it in the bin. Try again. Better second time around, but not before it had made John a little irritable.

For dessert, I was thrilled to be able to offer Mum freshly picked strawberries, courtesy of Malcolm from his garden. I considered what I should serve them with. No cream, but we have coconut yoghurt, plain milk yoghurt or ice cream. With the memory of Mum turning her nose up at plain yoghurt fresh in my mind, I chose the ice cream which she had so enjoyed last week, whilst John and I had the yoghurts as our topping.

Mum looked into her bowl and politely said thank you. Then she peered into my bowl, before looking back at her own. “What have you got?” she asked. She looked suspicious, her eyes flicking backwards and forwards over the contents of the two bowls. “Have you got cream?” she wanted to know. “I’ve got strawberries and yoghurt, Mum” I replied. “I’ve given you ice cream because I know you like that.” She poked at her ice cream and a strawberry, looking longingly over at my dessert. “Would you like to try a bit of the yoghurt, Mum?” Yes. She licked the spoon – mmmm, lovely. Oh, really……. She poked a bit more at her food. “What’s wrong, Mum?” Well, it was the strawberries you see. She didn’t like the strawberries……. so I served her just the ice cream, which I know she likes. More poking and sitting back in her chair. She was waiting for the ice cream to melt.

Fortunately, after our evening meal, we had a quiz evening with our Centre Stage friends. Heaven knows what might have erupted if we’d stayed downstairs too much longer……perhaps I am tired after all.

We enjoyed our quiz evening as always. Everyone is such lovely company and we always have a laugh and a good chat. However, I am saying my prayers for Brendan and all the family tonight, as his Mum is very poorly in hospital, having been rushed in on Monday. No visitors makes it especially hard to deal with and we have every sympathy with that scenario.

The NHS reports that there were 20 deaths due to COVID-19 up to 5 p.m. yesterday, 2 June 2020, with 66 having been confirmed for the day before. The government figures differ, of course, with 359 people having died in all settings and 1,871 people having been confirmed as infected. Still no data on how many people have been tested, but I have every confidence that when the target figure of 200,000 tests has been achieved, that data will be available to us.

Take care everyone – let’s not get slack on taking all precautions yet. I am not keen for a second wave of infection, are you?

Four years ago today, we were all togged up in our finery, excitedly celebrating Michael and Danielle’s wedding in Jersey. What a time we had! Such a great day. The sun came out just when we needed it; all those who’d been invited glowed with gladness, and the bride and groom absolutely shone with happiness. Happy, happy memories. Too many to tell, but the youngsters, in particular, had one helluva time!! As you can see……

In other news, time was when you’d leave the house on automatic pilot. Keys. Money. Phone. And off you’d go. Now, of course, it’s keys, money, phone, blood testing forms and mask. I am still unsure of the science of using a mask. I mean, when do you take it off? And how long are you allowed to wear it? And does it fit properly? Who is it protecting? Me or them?

Whatever thoughts we had on wearing a mask, however, we chose to do so on our visit to Heartlands today for John’s check-up. But confusingly, not all of the medics were wearing masks, so we are none the wiser of when, why or how. However, now that the government has confirmed everyone must wear a mask when using public transport, perhaps the science will be clearer to us soon….. just like the data, of course.

As it turned out, our trip to the hospital was quite successful. We found a disabled car parking slot just as we drove in, the security guard waved us into the building and then we booked into the clinic quite painlessly. I sat out in the corridor waiting to be summoned at the relevant point while John had all the blood tests known to man. Paneesha showed us the results of the tests – all quite good with the low neutrophil count of a couple of weeks ago being due to the infection overwhelming John’s system.

Good job we got him into hospital, but next time, (with a pointed look) best to bring him to Heartlands. Oh, actually, it’ll be the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in the Edgbaston area of Birmingham next time. Why? The transplant/haematology/oncology department is moving….. Well, that’ll be convenient.

Anyway, while we’re looking into what brought you into hospital, John, we probably need to do some more respiratory tests – and perhaps do some more ECP? (Blood-washing to you and me.) I’ll refer you to my colleagues to check you out. Lovely. More tests. Just what we’re after. Lung function test next Tuesday for starters? Smashing – can’t wait.

When we got back home, John took himself off to bed for an hour or two. It’s exhausting, just the thought of it all, let alone the doing of it. I, too, felt tired – and what have I got to feel tired about? It’s not me it’s happening to but I can’t help but empathise, and fatigue is catching up with us both. Tomorrow will be a better day I am sure.

Other excitements of the day were taking delivery of a new parasol (but where has the sun gone?); some photos of the family (aww……love ’em); and groceries (yay!!). We managed to get a delivery slot yesterday so we were able to buy all those specialist things that we were running out of. Additionally, I chose a few ‘extras’ as treats – a couple of bars of (85% chocolate) chocolate for John and some asparagus. Lucky us.

What didn’t arrive of course, was a garage door. I think we have been too optimistic, perhaps, in believing the company when they said they’d deliver this week. John has emailed them……

And then, this evening it was a ‘Zoom’ chat with the college crew. Oh, so good. It’s like drinking from a well of fresh water when you chat to your mates isn’t it? They are all so lovely, and I feel so blessed that they are my friends.

I know I have so many things to be thankful for and blessings to count but, in the current climate with all the protests and strong feelings being shared, I feel I ought to be ‘doing my bit’. However, at the moment, I am not sure what ‘my bit’ looks like; and so I am simply continuing to hunker down as we try to maintain that protective layer around us against COVID-19. Hoping, that one day, we’ll be able to leave the house on automatic pilot again.

Deaths from the virus are slowing and the volume of people infected is lessening. The government reported 176 deaths in all settings, with 1,805 people infected as of yesterday (3 June 2020) at 5 p.m. while the NHS reports 24 deaths in hospitals, with 69 having been confirmed the day before. It’s better, so there’s hope.

In the meantime, I know I am not able to change anything on a national or global level, so I give you another happy, happy picture from our time in Jersey four years ago.

Make the most of what you’ve got, everyone, it’s so precious – and, of course, take care.

We are anticipating taking delivery of a new garage door sometime this week for John’s ‘man-shed’. This necessitated us having to do a ‘bit of a tidy’ at the bottom of the garden and shifting the old garage door. The tidy up wasn’t too bad, but the existing garage door was a bit unwieldy, so we simply staggered from the ‘man-shed’ to the swing, plopping it down two or three times before we got there, puffing and blowing a little bit, and then leaning it up against the frame of the swing. I am hoping that the wind doesn’t blow too hard this evening, otherwise there is going to be an almighty clatter….

The order for the new door was put in weeks and weeks ago, but the company has confirmed a delivery date of between the 2nd (today) and the 4th June. Fingers crossed it arrives. I am planning to ask the delivery men/women/people to walk the new door down to the bottom of the garden. If the simple request doesn’t work, I am planning to cajole them and play the ‘my husband is too ill and, being a very small female, I am too weak to move it…..’ card. A ploy I cannot normally agree with, but we are living in very strange times – so strange that I would be shocked at myself if I’d could have seen the future me thinking such a thing ten years ago. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Other than that, I have lived in a state of anxiety all day today. Heaven knows why. Nothing untoward has happened – although I did have a weird dream, which I woke up to, so maybe that set me off for the day.

I have been anxious about all sorts of things. For example, John’s cough; and as to whether he needs more medication. I persuaded him to provide a sample that we could get down to the surgery to check the state of play, so we’ll see. Paneesha’s secretary phoned this morning too, to tell John that he needs to go to the ‘walk-in’ clinic on Thursday, instead of doing a telephone consultation on Friday. I am anxious about that. The ‘walk-in’ situation meant that we had to phone to book a blood test – all new arrangements for keeping infection down, I believe. Whether they will let me into the clinic with John on Thursday we are yet to find out. I am anxious about that, too….. oh dear.

However, we did have quite a good day once I finally got out of bed this morning, having had yet another lie-in. We interspersed activity with sitting in the sunshine, drinking tea and chatting – in fact we paced ourselves and enjoyed it. A key activity was yet one more go at moving various materials from one place to another. From ‘man-shed’ to the house; from house to utility room; from utility room to the former office; from the former office to the garage, and sometimes back again. I’d love to be a fly on the wall….. The main thing though, was locating one of the ‘project’ car’s doors onto a workbench for it to be worked on. We managed that move quite well. And I was a good assistant today.

Mum was a bit confused this morning when she found that I was still in bed reading when she got up. She was puzzled as to why I was still in my room. “Are you all right?” she asked. “Yes, I’m reading.” I answered. “Are you poorly?” she continued. “It’s not like you to be in bed. Are you sure you’re all right?” I assured her that I was fine, but I could tell she was troubled by this strange turn of events. She went downstairs and then, no sooner had she got there than she came back upstairs again to her room. I thought maybe she was getting dressed. Fifteen minutes later, I went to check. She was just wandering in her room still in her dressing gown. She had no idea what she was doing and why she hadn’t stopped downstairs. Note to self: don’t confuse Mum by staying in bed reading….

After the confused and slow start, Mum also had a good day, eating well, enjoying her cups of tea (which are always stone cold when she drinks them, as she forgets she’s got them!), eating cakes and watching her TV programmes. No walk outside today though, despite the lovely weather. I did offer, but she said she’d only just sat down so couldn’t possibly. She did, however, have a bit of a wander around the house, peering out of first one window, then a door and then another to check up on what we were doing. John says it reminds him of Bates Motel……

And so to statistics. I was heartened, in a bizarre sort of way, to read the letter from the Chair of the UK Statistics Authority, Sir David Norgrove, to Matt Hancock today. Sir David stated very clearly that the statistics being put out by the government are ‘far from complete and comprehensible‘. I thought it was just me. What amused me also, was the little lecture that followed on what statistics are supposed to be for. It made me howl – both with laughter and despair. This was a very public slap on the wrists – and surely an embarrassment for the government?

But the good news is that many NHS Trusts reported no deaths yesterday, with just 19 accumulated on the spreadsheet up until 5 o’clock yesterday evening, and 47 having been confirmed for 31 May 2020. The government figures on the other hand, show 1,613 people were confirmed as infected, and 324 people had died in all settings, for the same time period.

The virus may still be out there, but things are looking up. I hope and pray it will continue that way. We’ve got to be able to hug our kids and grandchildren sometime soon, surely??

Stay safe everyone – and keep washing your hands……

After the vat of wine drinking yesterday, I decided to have a lie-in this morning, reading my book, snoozing and playing word games on my phone. It was lovely. I know the sun was shining. I know I should have been out there, but I really just fancied an hour or two to myself for a change. John got up and brought me a cup of tea, so why not?

I finally emerged at about 11.30, swanning down in search of the phone charger. Not much point staying in bed playing games on your phone when the battery has run out, is there? At that time in the morning it was brunch of course, so we indulged ourselves with smoked salmon, avocados, poached eggs and so on, sitting outside in the sunshine. Another lovely. We are so very lucky to be able to eat such wonderful food and enjoy it al fresco.

After brunch, and having eased Mum out of bed, also late, I decided it was time to tackle a job that I’ve been putting off – re-pot the bay tree. The tree is now seven years old, having been gifted to me for my sixtieth birthday, and it has only been potted on once before. It’s still a fine specimen, but it has been looking a bit poorly of late. I suspected it was pot-bound, and sure enough on inspection, that was found to be the case.

Initially, I had planned to pop the tree into another pot nearby, but disappointingly, the neighbouring pot was too small. Ah-ha! Never mind. I know, I’ll use another, larger pot that I’ve recently emptied, I thought. I lifted it up. Oh, no! Disaster! The newly intended pot had a big hole in the bottom. Don’t worry about it, John said. Just press the pieces back together, and once there’s soil in, it’ll be OK. Well that’s what I did, and it is. Fingers crossed that the trauma of extricating the tree from its existing abode into its new one won’t have done any lasting damage. There was a bit of tugging going on at one point…..

John feels a bit better and he felt able to tackle some more tidying today. One of the jobs: to make a decision about what to do with the covering for the patio table and chairs. We have had several covers in the past – all claiming to be UV proof, only to find they disintegrate within a year. This time, we are – well, John is – planning to use some waterproof material we have spare and make our own.

Unexpectedly, this involved working out what to do with the chairs. We have traditionally stacked them on top of the table, which has created a bit of difficulty in keeping a smooth surface for the coverings. But, lo and behold, John established that the chairs would fit under the table quite comfortably, so let’s keep them like that shall we? What a jolly good idea!! Now, to the sewing machine for the final flourish – ohhh……. tomorrow, maybe?

Naturally, I have been keeping my beady eye on John following his hospital stay last week, and because I hadn’t received the promised phone call from the respiratory nurses today, I phoned them. The advice remained, desist with the nebulised antibiotic as it appears not to agree with John, and just ‘wait and see’. If another infection lurks on the horizon, they will deal with it as and when. The cough? Oh, not to worry. A residual cough can go on for up to eight weeks…… crikey!!

Mum resisted getting herself dressed today until there was the bribe of a cup of tea. She got up late and was just making her bed, when I suggested she might like to get dressed before she went downstairs. The suggestion didn’t go down well, so she pointedly wafted into the lounge in her dressing gown. Her choice of brunch was an egg sandwich – her favourite – which she thoroughly enjoyed. As she sat, expectantly waiting for a cup of tea after her sandwich, I thought I’d try a new tack. “Cup of tea, Mum?” I asked. “Ooooh, yes please.” she said. “I tell you what, I’ll have it ready and waiting for you once you’re dressed.” And just like that, she went upstairs and got dressed.

We all sat outside this afternoon at about four o’clock to enjoy the sunshine. Mum had done her tour of the garden and commented on the various plants that she did, or didn’t, recognise, and then said she thought she ought to sit. We were fairly companionable for once, all three of us, but John and I were amused when Mum said, “They’ve done a good job of this garden, haven’t they?” clearly forgetting that it was our garden, and we’d done the slaving in it over the years! Ah well, we’ve got to get our amusement from somewhere, haven’t we??

This evening we decided to watch the TV. Inexplicably, we are not watching as much TV now, during lock down, as we normally do in ‘peace time’, having fallen out of love of it just a little bit. The exception being, of course, the series ‘Normal People’ which still stands out as a beacon of entertainment wonderfulness.

We flicked through the channels and paused on ‘Endeavour’. Shall we watch that? Will it suit Mum as well? We started to view but, after a very short space of time, it palled – it really is a very pedestrian programme. Mum was disappointed that we wanted to stop watching it – bottom lip at the ready. We scrolled through the films. How about Tolkein? Haven’t seen that yet. Mum wasn’t keen…. but if you want to watch it, she sniffed, and left the sentence hanging. Well, we do, Mum, so let’s try it. And we enjoyed it – including she who wasn’t keen at the start……

Another day when I didn’t want to focus on the news. Another day when I didn’t want to hear the idiots from the White House or Downing Street. Another day when I didn’t want to hear tragic stories unfolding. Riots in the USA and in Hong Kong; civil rights being eroded and misinformation, including in our own country if only we could but see; and deaths – just too many deaths. Super-sensitive right now.

But what to make of the way the government figures are presented? The number of those having been tested remains ‘unavailable’, having been so for a while; deaths in all settings: 111 – no longer separated out between hospital deaths and others; and how does that number accord with yesterday’s cumulative figures with no explanation as to the discrepancy? NHS figures tell us that there were just 13 deaths in hospitals yesterday, 31 May 2020, with 57 confirmed for the day before.

I think the writing’s on the wall, folks……. lies, lies and damned lies! What do you reckon?

In the meantime, God bless and peace be with you all. I wish you all well as you break out of lock down and see loved ones at a social distance this week. Take care. We will, of course, continue to isolate and be very careful – that pesky bug is still out there……

Day 76….. that’s almost eleven weeks, nearly three months – of isolation. In theory, we ought to be thinking about lessening our lock down in a week’s time but, what with one thing and another, I am not so sure. The virus is still lurking; people are madly congregating; we are still vulnerable; the government, it seems to me, has lost the plot; and there’s the possibility of a second wave of infection. However, we are keen to see family members and close friends, so weather permitting, we might do a little more ‘garden time’ next week – socially distanced, of course.

At the start of lock down we were absolutely adamant that there’d be no-one in, or out, of our house. But circumstances have dictated otherwise, and we have had medics trampling all over in the last few weeks – and, of course, John has had a nice little sojourn in hospital a couple of times. Not what we expected or planned for at all.

All of that focuses your mind. It makes you think about what’s good in life, and what’s bad – and what you’d like to keep or discard.

Most of what’s good is people. And this was especially demonstrated this morning after I’d ‘been’ to church. As in previous weeks, I followed the church service on-line and I was especially thrilled to see that Kim, our organist, was playing all of the hymns this week. Because I can’t stop myself, I sang my heart out to his accompaniment and felt uplifted.

We usually have coffee and a natter after a church service to catch up on everyone’s news. This week, for the first time, Mark and Moira invited us to ‘Zoom’ in and meet up with fellow congregants. I was unsure as to how successful it would be but, as usual, M & M had it all sorted, and it worked out beautifully. And it was brilliant to talk to those who could join in and to see their wonderful faces again.

After church, John was up and about and so we went into the garden to see what was what. There was a lot of: ‘we must do this; we need to do that; let’s sort the other’ before we finally plumped on John being persuaded and choosing to finish a job he’d already started (trumpets sound). He attached the hooks he’d ordered for the shed to hang the tools upon. Gosh, I’ve never seen the shed look so neat and tidy!! I wonder if we’ll be able to keep it that way? And will we be able to fit the garden chairs in as we have planned? We’ll find out tomorrow when we get onto that task.

John is still coughing well and a bit of a ‘Puffing Billy’ but is, I think, improved. He’s trying to balance rest, play and work which all contributes to better health, both mentally and physically. Indeed, he was pleased with the work he did today; he thoroughly enjoyed his chat with youngest son as we prepped our evening meal; and had fun when it was ‘quiz’ time this evening, with the Sleath and Fielding families.

I also enjoyed my day, having chatted to Carol via a video link this afternoon, and then having drunk a vat of wine with my evening meal. I have no idea how I came to drink quite so much – but you know how it is (or do you?). I had a glass of wine as I prepped food, then another one as I chatted to Andrew, then another one with my meal and then another one as we did the quiz until, well, look ‘ee here…..that’s a whole bottle downed. Crumbs.

In between glasses of wine, I thanked my blessings – for my husband, my family and friends, and my home of course, but one other in particular that I am grateful for, and that is, my swing in the garden. For years and years, I said to John that I’d like a swing, until one day, I got up one birthday morning and there it was – all built and ready for me. I love it. And today was one of those days when I loved it just a little bit more. Perhaps it was the third glass of wine talking……. but still.

Mum has also had quite a good day – watching ‘Oklahoma!’ and a war film on TV this afternoon. She did feel lonely this evening though as we were upstairs quizzing, having forgotten that she could get up off the sofa and join us. Like a Queen, she does like it when the world comes to her; it’s never been quite so good when she’s had to go to the world. And now, as her memory declines, she has forgotten even that learned behaviour of seeking things out. Oh dear.

Let us not forget, though, those people who are in trouble, howsoever that trouble has come to them. For now, at the forefront of our minds, it’s those who are dealing with COVID-19 – nearly 300,000 people who’ve been infected, and almost 39,000 people who have died. 1,936 infectees as of yesterday; 119 deaths in hospitals; and 113 deaths in all settings, according to government figures. The NHS has reported 15 deaths in hospitals yesterday and confirmed 51 for 29 May 2020.

Take care everyone – hold onto your hats in anticipation of what’s to come.

Another glorious day, weather-wise, wasn’t it? A clear blue sky, bright sunshine and a balmy breeze. We sat out once again to drink it all in, savouring it, embedding it in our bones, ready for when the weather changes and we have to look back and search for it in our memory banks. For once, Mum didn’t join us. She was happy to stay indoors and watch the four walls. Michael called in just after lunch and we all sat, socially distanced and conscious of the rules, just longing to hold each other in that mother/son, father/son family embrace; to physically link and wordlessly tell each other ‘it’s alright’.

No physical embraces, so instead I plied Michael with practical stuff – a skipping rope, to keep him fit; a couple of plant pots and compost, for potting on their house plants, and a chamois leather to polish the car. All gifts offered with that unspoken love, that says ‘we’re here for you’. What else can we do?

And Michael’s trip, from his house to ours, that says ‘we’re here for you, too’ without William ‘just in case’ and being mindful of the shielding still needed. The trip that tells us they are thinking of us, concerned for us and are willing John to get better.

He is a bit better today, I think, but he’s still working hard to catch his breath – especially when he’s upright and busy. His busyness took him into the realms of reversing the Lotus out of the garage this afternoon, in order to install a bench on which to restore the car doors. This involved clearing and sweeping the garage floor, lifting and shifting the old desk from his former office into one corner and then screwing it all together again. ‘Determination’ is John’s middle name, with ‘Never Give Up’ coming in a close second.

Prepping the garage was Round One – and he clearly hadn’t finished for the day, being willing to step up for Round Two. I was whiny. I couldn’t be bothered to cook just yet. The steak was defrosting for us, the fish fingers were ready and waiting for Mum in the freezer, but I was entranced by ‘Frozen’ on the telly. John said he’d cook. Oh, thank you – just stick a jacket potato in the microwave, I suggested, and a carrot or two in a pan, and griddle the steak and fish fingers. John likes to be creative though, so we had honey-glazed carrots and parsnips as well. Very delicious, but just a bit more work…..and that was Round Two.

After the evening meal, he did have a short rest upstairs in the bedroom, watching some TV, but he soon came down for Round Three. He saw that I was still failing in my duties, not having put the pots to wash, so he set to and got on with all of that, hand washing some of the crockery and pans then stacking the dishwasher with the rest.

Not content with having prepped the evening meal and cleared up after it, the ol’ man was keen to sort out some desserts for himself for the next day or two, as he’s not eating ‘standard’ stuff now. So, onto Round Four and the creation of some little chocolate pots, all made from organic, non-processed and natural ingredients.

There was no Round Five, fortunately. He went to bed exhausted, clearly pacing himself ready for tomorrow.

In contrast and mesmerised by John’s activity, I really have little idea of what I have done all day. Oh, I know…..not a lot.

I got up in readiness to receive the shopping from Malcolm first thing, and obviously thoroughly enjoyed myself doing ‘shopping washing’ for the umpteenth time. I did a bit of business on the computer and then I ‘went’ to the beauty parlour and spa, to colour my hair and bathe in an Epsom salt bath, pretending I was at Ragdale Hall. I also gave myself a bit of a pedicure and dressed in nice, fresh, summer clothes to greet the day.

Outside, I watered the plants, dead-headed a few and potted on the Aloe Vera that Paul and Harriet brought back from Tenerife last year – or was that the year before? I watched trashy TV – including yesterday’s ‘Have I Got News For you?’ which ticked all of the boxes and made me laugh; and I read some of my book. I did help John in the garage this afternoon though, but he said I wasn’t a very good assistant. I don’t think I was following orders very well…… I wonder if he’ll have me again?

So, moving on, I didn’t watch any news today. I really wasn’t in the right frame of mind to hear more tragic stories like the George Floyd death in America, be angered by the mealy-mouthed politicians or shocked by the goings-on everywhere. I stayed in our home bubble and felt grateful for the small mercies, for my dear friends who really are there for us and for the beautiful family I love and miss every day.

Sending love and peace to you all.

And for the record, of course: as of 5 p.m yesterday, there were 2,445 COVID-19 infectees, 178 dead in hospitals, and 215 dead in all settings. 20 deaths in hospitals according to the NHS figures, with 87 having been confirmed for the day before.

Life slowed to a very gentle pace today. I took John his breakfast in bed which signified not only a leisurely start to the day, but a leisurely rest of the day, too. No rush to get jobs done. No rush to be sorting things out. For a change we let the world just be. We let the day unfold and present itself to us.

There were some proactive moments, however, mainly to do with John’s health, but once we’d got these out of the way we did a fair bit of inspecting the back of our eyelids, resting our bums on seats, or turning our faces towards the sunshine.

The first proactive bit was, of course, driven by my anxieties over John’s chest. After the nebulised antibiotic last night, he wasn’t quite so well and so, for some reassurance, a phone call to the respiratory team was in order. The nebulised antibiotic doesn’t always suit everyone, so the advice was to leave it and see how things are by Monday. In the meantime, if John could offer up another sample, that would be good……… Ah, OK, then. Sample bottle? The respiratory nurse said she’d send one, but in the meantime, get one from the GP surgery. Ha!! easier said than done!

I phoned the surgery and explained what I was after. Yes, no worries, we can provide that. A friend will collect? Yep, yep, we’ll hand it over to him, fine, no problem. Friend, i.e. Peter, phones the surgery to check they’re expecting him. No…….sorry, who is it for? Why do you want it? Who has authorised it? We’ll get back to you…… Three quarters of an hour later and still no phone call to confirm or deny the request, Peter phones me to explain the delay.

I phoned the surgery and explained what I was after. Let me check the system. Who is it for? What’s his date of birth? Why do you want it? Who has authorised it? Oh…. hang on…. there’s something here on the system… yes, yes, that’s fine. Tell your friend he can collect. Success at last. And thank you, Peter.

A little bit of pottering in the kitchen before lunch, making up two weeks’ worth of John’s pills, sorting the washing, and generally tidying before Linda arrived with a few bits, mainly ready meals for Mum, from Sainsbury’s. We had a lovely ‘path chat’ for a while before we reluctantly thought we’d gassed enough, and it was time to go. ‘Shopping Washing’ is now de rigueur of course, so time was spent on that once again.

Mum finally emerged from her cocoon at about 12.30, having been woken and mildly encouraged to get up at both 10.30 and 11.30. She was reluctant, even at that late hour, to winkle herself out of bed, hugging the bedclothes to her; but she made a joke of it and we both had a laugh about it, before she finally swung her legs out of bed and wriggled her feet into her slippers.

Naturally, by then it was lunchtime, so we all went and sat out in the garden, sun-worshipping, whilst we ate our food. Mum stayed out a good while before beckoning to me that she’d like to go inside. Before she went though, she watered the seeds she’d planted the other day, which are now seedlings. I’m excited to see them grow – not so sure Mum’s bothered though!

Having had some Messenger conversation this week with an old acquaintance, who used to run a book club, I was invited to join in again by ‘Zoom’ this evening. I downloaded the book onto my Kindle on Wednesday, but what with one thing and another, I hadn’t got very far in reading it. So, this afternoon, I was determined to get through a bit more of the book. I settled the comfy cushions onto the swinging chair and snuggled in. John sank into a reclining chair beside me, and soon he was gently snoring. The sun was warm; it was so very, very cosy underneath the canopy of the swinging chair; and John’s snoring was so very soporific……so, inevitably, I succumbed to gentle snoring too. It was bliss.

I did manage to get some of the book read, and it was just sufficient to have a bit of conversation about it this evening, thank goodness. Inevitably, everyone had different ideas about whether the book was any good or not, but I am enjoying it sufficiently to plan to read it to the end if I can. It was good though, to join in a conversation that wasn’t about the latest political storm, or corona virus, or the weather, or even John’s health!! I was refreshed by the warmth of welcome I had among the group, most of whom I didn’t know, and the relaxed chat that ensued.

Before all of that, though, I had had a lovely ‘path chat’ with Margaret and Chris, who had called in with chocolate. I was delighted to see them as I had been thinking of them only on Wednesday, but the days had slipped by and I hadn’t been in touch. An extra pleasure was offered to us all as well, when Jaime stopped for a chat as she was striding by on her walk with a friend.

Then, a little later on, Chris Price called in….. she’d texted to ask if I needed anything from Sainsbury’s. Well, Linda had just bought me the ready meals for my Mum; I was hoping (expecting?) Malcolm would offer me some staples from the Co-op tomorrow, so what could I do but ask for luxuries? Erm….. can you stop by the ice cream aisle and pick up a box of Magnums, please?

And there we are. Another day of doing nothing, working the whole day through – tra-la! I raised a glass to absent friends at seven o’clock, mourning the loss of our long weekend in Hampshire, and tittered at the various comments the college girls made on WhatsApp throughout the evening – which just about sums the day up really – lots of passive activity that has kept us amused.

Not amused by the response from my MP Saqib Bhatti though, about the Cummings/Johnson affair; nor amused by the latest corona virus figures from the government. 2,095 infectees; 173 deaths in hospitals; 324 deaths in all settings yesterday by 5.p.m. NHS figures are offering us 36 deaths yesterday, with 88 having been confirmed for the day before, and 114 on 26 May 2020.

Friends are now making plans for 6-member gatherings as from Monday, but it’s still giving me the willies as to how on earth we are going to play out this next phase. Oh, I know!! Stay at home, be alert…..isn’t that how it goes?

God bless, everyone.