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John has felt shattered all day. It wasn’t so bad as we lay in bed this morning until about ten-thirty, but fatigue set in as he got out of bed and had a shower. By heck, it took it out of him. So much so, that he spent most of the day in the chair with his eyes closed.

I don’t know what I’ve been doing all day but it feels like I’ve been busy. However, one thing I do remember doing was little bit of admin on our, and Mum’s affairs this afternoon, so I nipped up to the post office to send some documents off.

John had decided by then that he was keen to do something. He opened the patio doors and I left him gazing out at ‘the estate’ and basking in the warm sunshine. He thought he might venture out and do a spot of weeding again. “Will you wait until I get back?” I asked. “We’ll see,” he said, not wanting to commit himself to being nannied.

When I arrived back, not only was he outside but he’d lifted a couple of slabs on the steps that lead down to the patio to try and glue them into place. They’ve been very wobbly of late, and so we bought some stuff called ‘Sticks Like Sh*t’ to stop ’em wobbling. We’re not sure how successful the job has been, but one of them seems OK, at least.

The evening was spent much like the afternoon. Telly on, eyes closed with the occasional moments viewing. Now he’s in bed with a few moans and groans, as his leg, hip and back bother him. The morphine is at the ready.

Take care everyone – and may God bless us all.

There was no reason to get up early this morning, so we dawdled in bed for a while, taking our pains aux raisins back to bed for breakfast. Time went by and we suddenly thought we ought to get up. We’d promised to drop in on Michael for a cuppa about 11 o’clock. John got up and got dressed and I decided, at the last minute, to get a shower, so we were delayed in setting off.

Michael had warned us that the children were under the weather so he gave us the option to cry off. John was keen to go, however – he expected that the grandchildren and Michael would bring light relief to his continued darkened mood. We planned to sit out in the garden, avoid kissing and cuddling the children and, fingers crossed, we hoped not to catch whatever lurgy they’d got lurking in their runny noses.

We had a lovely hour with them, sitting out in the very warm sunshine and chatting to the family. We upgraded the bird feeder from a vessel that was sprouting the seed to one where the seed was free-flowing; we watched a snail make an interesting journey from a plastic bucket to the grass; and listened carefully to all the tales the children had to tell – including Oliver, who was shouting at the top of his voice to be heard.

John had a nice gentle chat with Michael and I think it helped him get a slightly different perspective.

Regrettably, an hour was long enough. John’s hip/leg was starting to hurt and the low garden furniture wasn’t brilliant for his sitting position, so we came away blowing kisses to everyone.

Home, and it was rest time. We had some lunch and considered what we might put on the telly to sleep through. Rugby was on so that was favourite. Fortunately, Pete came round with the gubbins he’d had another shot at mending for the Lotus. John had declared earlier in the day that, come what may, he was going to take the car for a spin – so Pete fitted the piece; John fired up the car; and off they went. Smashing!

They arrived back with a flourish, pulling onto the drive, with the engine sounding as sweet as a nut, purring beautifully. They were both smiling from ear to ear. Pete grinned, and said to me, “There you are. I’ve proved the car is safe to ride in, so now it’s your turn.” John took me for a spin then and very lovely it was, too. Nice to sit alongside hubby in the car of his dreams and remember our youth!!

Jack had come along with Pete to visit us, too. Not wanting to be rude, but wanting to get on with mowing my lawn, I asked to be excused from the car conversation. “Perhaps Jack can help you?” Pete proposed. “You can teach him how to use the lawnmower, if you like.” Well, what a cracking idea! Jack and I toddled out into the garden and Jack did the mowing while I ambled alongside to help identify the bits of grass that still needed cutting. He did a good job and in record time, too, so we were done and dusted and back in the house just before the boys set off for their jaunt.

The car being roadworthy has helped lift John’s mood a bit and the fact that he’s taken two passengers out in it has definitely made him feel it’s been worthwhile.

John completed his usefulness today by getting the weed killer out and having a go at the drive which is threatening to grow a jungle. He was amusing though. He sat on his four-wheeled walker and propelled himself along to all the bits that needed doing. And he didn’t fall off today! Result!

I also did a bit of weeding in the front garden, trying to remove a very pretty row of thistles that have taken hold. But they are little b****rs to get out, aren’t they? They seem to have very tenacious roots. “They’ll be back,” I observed to John as we went back into the house. “They’re still lurking under the surface of the soil….” Well, it’ll give me something to do, won’t it?

Take care everyone. God bless.

Naturally, we are bound to have ups and downs. Sometimes the downs are a bit too down though, so we are thrilled when our friends and family cheer us up.

Yesterday, we hopped in the car and toddled back to Warwick Hospital for John to have a second infusion of iron to combat the anaemia that was discovered when he was in hospital. “You’ll probably feel the benefit in about a week,” explained the nurse. Well, that would be good. I’m pretty sure that John’s anxiety and low mood will be improved if he has a proper blood supply.

As we pulled onto the drive after the treatment, we were delighted to see eldest son sitting in his car waiting for us. “I was about to phone you to find out where you were,” he grinned. “Ah… well, we’re here now!” I grinned back. It was lovely to see him, although he couldn’t stay long. He just had enough time to tell us all about the experience he and Harriet had had at the restaurant Andrew is working at, Ynyshir. They had thoroughly enjoyed it. “Is it the best restaurant that Andrew has worked at, do you think?” I asked. “Yes!” came the emphatic answer.

While Paul was with us, George and Sue arrived for the afternoon. They had come to help with the Lotus again. George had mended some gubbins or other and was keen to fit it. Pete Cross had also mended a different gubbins during the week and was keen to see if his handiwork had done the trick, so he came round as well. Made me giggle, seeing Pete and George with their heads together in the car, while John acted as foreman and Sue acted as foreman’s mate. I abandoned them all to the work and went off for massage.

I think the various gubbins on the car still need a bit of work, so we might have to invite George and Sue (and Pete) round again – which will suit us down to the ground. They are great company.

In between times, the doctor phoned to discuss the situation with John’s toe. “I’ll come and have a look,” he said. He came and had a look and promptly said, “Antibiotics,” and whizzed off again. More pills to make John rattle some more. He hardly needs breakfast, lunch or dinner – he’s full of tablets by the time those meals are served!

Anyway, after our guests had left, we went tired and we had an early night – not least because we were looking forward to Skype session with Graham and Gail this morning. “How about 9 a.m. your time, 7 a.m. ours?” Gail asked. Eeek…. just a tad early for us. Although we can get a wriggle on – for example, if we’ve to be at the hospital early, but generally, we’d rather not rush in the morning. There’s such a lot do before we get downstairs……

We had a lovely chat to G & G – it was nice to have a catch up – but John was tired, so we only chatted for just over an hour before we said our goodbyes. John was so tired, in fact, that he spent a good part of the day dozing. We put the rugby on this afternoon, but much of it went unwatched.

While John was snoozing, I took advantage of the lovely warm weather to mow the lawn. Our milkman, Steve, who normally does the lawns, is unwell at the moment and so we are left to our own devices until he’s better. “Can I borrow your lawn mower, please, Michael?” I pleaded. “Yup, of course!” Danielle dropped it round to ours this morning, so I was set up.

It’s not quite finished and it’s a bit ragged, but I was chuffed to have got the wilderness tamed. I’ll have another go tomorrow at the bits I missed! But just look at that sunshine!!

John also decided to take advantage of the lovely warm weather and, once he’d woken up, came outside with his new four-wheeled walking aid, sat upon its little seat, and started to hoe away some of the weeds nestling in between the pavers on the patio. I had my back to him when I heard a bit of a yell and a thump. I turned round to find him in a heap on the floor. He’d forgotten to put the brakes on, and the walker had slid away from him as he leaned just a bit too far forward.

Fortunately, he was OK and was able to get back up again with a bit of help and go back into the house to lick his wounds. It was upsetting though. These are the downs that impact on John’s mood. He feels helpless and hopeless and absolutely hates having to ask us all for help to do the jobs that he so easily did before he was unwell.

The rest of the day wasn’t the best. England took it to the wire in their rugby match and they played poorly, which didn’t help lift John up. We had no plans to see the kids this weekend as they are all busy with one thing and another, so he found that upsetting. And, to be honest, I am not sure I am always the best company for him – I mean, I was contentedly watching Strictly…..

“I’m going to bed,” John announced, just after nine o’clock. We started the bedtime routine and then I heard my phone ringing. I hoofed it downstairs to grab my phone – and it was Michael, phoning to see how we were. Well, what a boost for John that was. Although John still felt blue, he felt a slightly lighter shade of blue as he got into bed. Hurrah for those wonderful, unexpected moments of togetherness and beautiful love.

Here’s hoping that tomorrow brings a better mood – the weather might help, it’s supposed to be nice again!

Take care everyone. God bless.

Oh, dear – you know you’re getting old when a busy day is a yoga class and a visit to the solicitors – and then you’re tired out.

We took it steady this morning, getting out of bed and getting into the day before I set off for yoga. Margaret came while I was out and kept John company on her way back from her yoga class, which worked really well for us. John thoroughly enjoyed the chat and Margaret’s upbeat company.

As soon as I got back we got ready for a little trip: we hopped in the car to nip into Leamington – firstly, to call on Mum’s solicitor to get a notarised copy of her will; and then to our solicitor to sort out the dates on our wills.

All went well, although the effort for John was great and he was tired out by the visits – especially as he had trouble getting up from the rather low and soft sofa they had at the solicitors’ office. Bless him, it was a heave-ho moment and a gargantuan effort from him.

“I’ll just pop into Waitrose on the way back,” I said, “I’ll buy some nice bread and cakes for lunch.” Ha! So much for popping in! It took a little longer than I expected and John was asleep in the car by the time I’d finished shopping.

Home again and John slept all afternoon. I did the same as yesterday and ignored all the jobs and admin waiting for me and caught up on the TV programmes sitting on the planner – there’s an awful lot to catch up on!!

Disappointingly, John has been quite anxious again today and upset – thinking he’s been a ‘bad Dad’. No amount of telling him that he’s been a ‘good Dad’ will convince him otherwise. I’m hoping he’ll be a bit better tomorrow – we’ll see. He might have a festering toe by then though. I checked the toe he’d cut when he was trimming his nails the other day, and I wasn’t very happy with it. Might be a request for the doctor to check it out tomorrow. Hey-ho. We do like to keep the medics busy, don’t we?

Take care everyone. God bless.

We have had an interesting day today with a bit of this and a bit of that.

We had both been looking forward to seeing Pete and Dawn, who came round this morning, and they didn’t disappoint. It was lovely to see them and chew the cud as usual. For the boys, they had a great time talking tachometers. Pete has mended the one for the Lotus and he brought it round, all hopeful that it will work. We may have a go at fitting it on Friday when George and Sue come round – all being well, that is.

Despite the enjoyment of seeing our dear friends, John was very tired. He’d got up and had his breakfast, but soon afterwards was looking forward to a sit down in his chair and closing his eyes for the hour or so before our guests arrived.

After our guests left, John was again looking forward to closing his eyes again and, after lunch, did just that for most of the afternoon.

I, too, was weary, so instead of getting on with the jobs I know I’ve got to do, I sat alongside John and watched TV all afternoon, catching up on the TV programmes I’d missed recently.

Towards tea-time, John thought he’d try and have a potter in the garage. Two minutes later, he came back into the lounge. “Erm…. can you help?” he wanted to know, “I’ve lost the arm rest from the scooter – not sure where it’s gone. Can we re-trace our steps of yesterday to have a look for it?” So we wandered down the road to the doctor’s surgery and back, looking all the way for the errant arm rest. No luck. I was confident, however, that we’d find it in the garage. No luck there either, darn it. It seems to be lost. We’ll be having a look on Mr Google for a replacement tomorrow……

This evening was Quiz Night. We had been very much looking forward to it after a week or two hiatus in proceedings, and it was a delight to catch up with everyone again. For a while, John’s anxiety held sway and he felt unable to join in immediately, but he soon got going and the Quiz went along with a swing. Great fun, and we enjoyed the company.

The evening was a bit too long for John though, so no sooner had the Quiz finished than we said our goodbyes and logged off from Zoom so that we could get ready for bed. That takes a while these days!! Who’d have thought it, eh?

Take care everyone. God bless.

Although John said he had a disturbed night’s sleep last night, he actually looked a bit better this morning and seemed steadier on his pins, so I was delighted to see that. He also seemed a bit better in spirit – brighter and much more with it. Marvellous. And the sun was shining. Yay!

As John hadn’t had much sleep overnight, however, he made up for it during the day. “I’m going to go upstairs to sort out some of Mum’s affairs and make some phone calls, ” I told him. “Yep. Yep. All good” he said, so I left him sat in the chair in the lounge – and when I went to check on him a bit later he was a-snoozing. Bless him.

I left him asleep and carried on with my tasks. I was keeping my eye on the clock though, because I was due to go to yoga. However, Harry, who comes from MacMillan to chat with John on a Tuesday, didn’t arrive – so that knocked yoga class on the head. Mind you, it meant I got a bit more sorting out done.

When I came downstairs later, I was pleased to see that John was awake and sorting out some of his affairs on the computer. I knew he was a lot brighter.

We had a spot of lunch and then I suggested we get a breath of fresh air. We had a few errands to run at the shops, and we needed to drop the hospital discharge letter into the doctors’ surgery as well. I nipped into the Post Office and John tootled on down the road to the doctor’s on his scooter. “I’ll catch you up,” I said, more in hope than expectation.

I met him coming back up the road – he’d managed to drop the documents in, but he said that having abandoned the scooter at the doorway of the surgery, it was a bit of a struggle to walk from the door to the desk. “I haven’t got much of a right leg,” he pronounced. Oh….. makes walking a bit difficult, that!

On the way back home, I called into the pharmacy and John went on home. “I’ll do a little bit of tidying in the garage while I wait for you to come back.” he said. Righty-ho.

I happened to meet Linda and Brendan just coming out of the pharmacy as I was going in, so we stopped and had a bit of a chat; and then I had to queue a bit in the pharmacy so I was a few minutes longer than expected getting home. John was in the kitchen, shaking his head. “I only tidied about four things before I felt too tired,” he sighed. “I think I’ll have another sleep.” Good idea. Catch up on the beauty sleep you missed the night before, eh?

This evening Michael came round to keep John company while I went to my ‘Exploring Faith’ group. It was refreshing to see everyone and to debate the mysteries of the stories in the Bible. I don’t understand half of them. Mind you, neither do my fellow explorers always understand them either, so we have great fun trying to tease out what’s what. It turned into a bit of a philosophy session…. ‘What is truth?’ was the question posed. Hmmm…..

John and Michael, meanwhile, enjoyed their evening together chatting and watching the UEFA Champions League – Manu U vs Galatasaray. The evening didn’t end well though, as Man U lost, much to their disgust. Comments like: ‘Should have crossed/saved it/shot/stayed onside’ were much to the fore. Hoping for a better result next time.

So there we are. Quite a full day for a Tuesday. I am hoping the ol’ man sleeps better tonight and wakes up a bit more refreshed and is as bright as he was this morning. He’s got to be on form tomorrow – we’ve got visitors and it’s Quiz Night!

Take care everyone. God bless.

We had a quiet day at home today. I generally pottered about, fiddling with this and that and John rested until late morning before he exerted lots of energy in the shower and came downstairs smelling as sweet as anything.

I toddled in and out of the kitchen, sorting out the piles of washing we seemed to have accumulated, and running outside to gather the sheets in off the line as the clouds opened and dropped their raindrops on my nearly-dry washing.

John set to and had a go at attaching some non-slip pads to the base of the chair he’s currently using. The chair is blessed with casters so every time he sits in the chair he shoots backwards at vast knots into the radiator. All fixed now, though. We’ve removed the casters and slapped three of the pads to each of the corners. We think it’s done the trick!!

I don’t think there’s been anything exciting today, apart from John clipping the flesh on the end of his toe instead of his toenail. He’s plastered up and I think it’s stopped bleeding now….

And there we are, just enjoying each others’ company……

Take care everyone. God bless.

Oof! The Covid ‘n Flu jab did me in yesterday! I set off to the surgery as merrily as you like and came back all hunky dory but, by the afternoon, I was beginning to feel like a soggy dishcloth inside and a prickly urchin on the outside. Ached all over and generally felt lousy. The night wasn’t much better and I creaked and groaned all night.

It didn’t stop me enjoying the visit from Paul, Harriet and Freddie though. They called in for a little while and it was a delight to sit with Freddie as he practised his keyboard skills and then potter up to the shops with him, both chattering all the way, to buy Halloween stuff in readiness for the great ‘porch decorating’ event at the end of the month.

This morning I started to feel a bit better and by the afternoon all symptoms – bar the sore arms – had passed. Phew! I wasn’t so keen on feeling unwell when I want to look after John. Still, all good now.

We have had a gentle day today and, in some ways, it has felt a bit long and drawn-out. John has particularly felt the clock hands ticking on slowly. We are not sure why, but he gets a rush of emotion and all of a sudden, he wants to see his kids, or the grandchildren, or his friends, or me (if I happen to be in another room). I suspect it’s a reaction to the last three weeks or so of hospital treatment and I am expecting it to improve as the days go on.

As a matter of fact, I think it is already improving. John joined in with me watching Songs of Praise this afternoon and we sang along to a few of the hymns just for a bit of fun. Afterwards, John hopped on his scooter and we toddled up to the shops to buy the Sunday Roast. It was good to get a bit of fresh air.

John was all for going out again immediately – this time for a bit of a walk. We didn’t quite manage it then because I was putting the dinner on and Paul called in to help me/us locate a squeak we can hear……. I am not sure what the squeak is and we haven’t yet located it, although Paul was hopeful that it was an electrical surge from John’s stair lift. Sadly, it isn’t, so we’re still hunting. Of course, I am convinced that it’s mice….. but do they squeak?

Anyway, after we’d eaten our dinner and watched the Australia vs Portugal match, we did venture out onto the street. “We’ll just go up as far as Burleigh Close,” we agreed. So John gathered up the new walking frame that had been delivered earlier in the week and we set off. He did a grand job and got within a stone’s throw of the Close before we turned round and came back again.

He had a rest when we got back to our drive and we spent a few moments outside just enjoying the dusk and the birds singing their evensong. Moments to savour and treasure. Here’s to Part Two of life.

Take care everyone. God bless.

So the ol’ man is home.

There were last-minute blood tests to hurdle and an infusion to endure before the gates were unlocked, but by the end of the day, the medics were satisfied that they’d done enough. So, armed with a bagful of drugs and a suitcase full of PJs he made his escape just after tea.

John is delighted to be home but he’s still full of anxiety, bless him, so we’re discussing strategies that may help – as well as popping the pills. I am pretty sure that once he’s settled in at home, he’ll start to feel a bit better. Hope so, anyway!

We have both been blessed today with support from unexpected quarters. I was delighted to go round to Dawn’s this morning where we had home communion, offered by dear Liz. Moments of quiet reflection, prayer and worship were very welcome and refreshing.

John, meanwhile, had another encounter with the Chaplain at the hospital, and was able to have a good chat. He came out of the chat declaring that this is the start of Part 2 of his life. I’m all for that!! Yesterday is past and tomorrow has yet to come, so let’s make the most of now!! Yes, please.

We have sat together this evening, enjoying desultory conversation and watching New Zealand annihilate Italy on the rugby field. We felt sorry for Italy but we marvelled at the skill and nimbleness of the Kiwis. Really enjoyed it.

And that’s us today. Grateful for all the support from everyone – it has held us up and kept us going.

Take care everyone. God bless.

So, after another day when we were fairly frazzled yesterday, John is finally on the mend and there is a rumour of discharging him from hospital shortly.

John was particularly upset again yesterday in the ward of ‘all hell let loose’, where the staff had failed to offer a tranquiliser, despite my confidence that it was now on his drug list following on from the pharmacy phone call the previous day.

I wondered what to do. How to get the staff to take his mental health seriously? I really didn’t know what the best thing to do was.

Fortunately, we have two rather helpful sons on hand. Both Paul and Michael visited yesterday. Michael had a quiet word with the nurse in charge of John’s care; Paul had a word, too. If nothing else, surely they could move him to a quieter part of the ward or even take him to another ward?

Within half an hour they had located another, quieter ward and John was on the move. Thank the Lord for that!! He’s now ensconced in a diabetic ward, where the beds are spaced out, it is very quiet and the nursing staff seem, for the most part, to be more numerous, attentive and kind.

I was pleased that John seemed to have had a better night and not so bad this morning. Although I could tell that he was still very anxious. He had a visit from the Chaplain this morning which helped a bit, but still, it seemed that the tranquilisers weren’t doing their bit.

I phoned him at lunchtime, just as the nurse was giving him his lunchtime tablets. We asked the question about the important little pill. “You are not written up for it John,” said the nurse. Oh crikey – here we go again.

When I got there this afternoon that was my first priority to ask about it. It transpires that it was on the list but as a requested item. In other words, if John asks he can have it. Fortunately, now that he is a bit better he has the capacity to ask, so he’s asking. Fingers crossed his anxiety will abate a bit overnight.

On the medical front, the news is that the markers in the blood samples are showing a significant decrease in infection levels and the kidneys seem to have sorted themselves out. The doctor instructed that the IV antibiotic be ceased as of lunchtime, and replaced with an oral tablet instead and see how he goes overnight. Blood tests tomorrow will tell us whether he can come home in the afternoon or not. I am very hopeful.

Hope. That’s the ticket, isn’t it?

In the meantime, we are very grateful for everyone’s good wishes, healing thoughts and prayers – it means such a lot to us and helps a great deal. From my Goddaughter, Lizzie, offering home communion through to a lush bag of chocolates arriving from Sue and Chris today, it is so wonderful to know people are rooting for us. Thank the Lord.

Take care everyone. God bless.