No longer leukaemia…but Pseudomonas…. and isolation, Day 48

When you’re busy doing nothing, where do you start to describe your day? It feels like I’ve done nothing but swan about, tinker at things and walk through treacle today. In fact, I am so tired, that I didn’t even hear John’s message ping in this morning at 6.40 a.m. as I was dead to the world! Didn’t surface until the Sunday-alarm (as opposed to the weekday-alarm) went off at 8 o’clock. Oh, dear.

It was treacle, really, from the minute I got up. Everything at half-pace. I said to John, as we chatted on WhatsApp, “I can’t think why I am so tired?” He just gave me a look – you know the sort of thing he does….. hmmm…maybe I do know why I am tired!

Anyway, the day started well, yawning my way through a chat to John (who was not feeling too bad but couldn’t remember whether he’d had his antibiotics this morning), then off to ‘church’ for which I had done the reading this week – much to my fear and trepidation. How crazy is that? I ought to know my capabilities by now but lock down seems to be sapping my confidence. You? Same? Or are you all still up and buzzing?

Good church service though, with Alison doing the Gospel and the sermon, which I really enjoyed. And I sang my heart out to all the hymns. Thank God Mum’s deaf and John’s in hospital!! No potential for embarrassment there!!

A few e-chats with friends and family, before another attempt to tackle the kitchen which, I think, has a mind of its own. How does it get into such a mess? Overnight, it seems to generate all sorts of stuff on the work surfaces with pots to wash, that I was sure I’d done the day before. It was the pesky chip-pan today though. The oil had become a bit of a murky mass, so I decided it was time to give it a jolly good clean-up. It seemed to take hours. And it’s not finished yet. Bits of it are still in the dishwasher and I’ve got to put it all back together tomorrow. Let’s hope I can remember which screw goes in where.

Must’ve exhausted myself with all that scrubbing of the chip pan though, because no sooner had I sat in an easy chair after lunch than I fell asleep. Mum woke me up with “Are you asleep, Anne?” Well, yes, I had dropped off but now you’ve asked, I’m awake. Pottered about a bit then, tackling the chip pan once more, before having another little sit down with a cup of tea….and fell asleep again. Woke up this time to John calling on the mobile. Yikes! I’m awake! I’m awake! Honest!

At that point, I thought perhaps a bit of fresh air would do me good, so I suggested to Mum we have a little walk round the garden. I had my eye on the outside temperature, the clouds, and whether the trees were waving about, to gauge the reaction we might get once she got outside. Temperature: 19.5 degrees. Clouds: overcast but no rain. Wind velocity: nothing much. Good. She agreed, a walk would be nice. OK – so, do you want to put your socks, shoes and coat on, Mum? Yes. I’ll just go to the loo first…..

I watched the mercury falling as I waited for Mum to get ready. 18.5 degrees. It’ll be fine. Three-quarters of an hour later, she was ready. It’s now 17.5 degrees. Silent prayer that it won’t feel too cold….. In truth, it wasn’t. We had a lovely stroll round the garden with the exact same observations and questions as we had yesterday. “Oh, what a lovely peonie!!” she exclaimed. “Yes, it’s pretty, isn’t?” I responded. “Is there just the one bud?” she asked. “No, there are a few more – look, over here.. and here.”

But it doesn’t matter that we have the same conversation, because we also have a laugh too. The laughter is usually in response to her statement, ‘I can’t remember’, because her eyes twinkle up and she looks a bit apologetic. She always starts the giggle and it makes me join in as well. She’d love to remember, but she can’t. She’d love to have a rational conversation, but it’s gone. Ah well.

After our evening meal we watched a bit of TV – more of The Chase but this time it was The Family Chase – and then I yawned my way through another chat with John. He was insistent that I go to bed earlier. Yes, boss. So, I shall try. I think he was also feeling rather tired as he looked weary this evening and couldn’t quite remember what drugs he’d had today. The days are all blurring into one for him and it’s very hard being in a room on your own with no company other than a mobile phone. It’s also very hard being this side of the mobile phone unable to run errands, hold his hand, cuddle him or interpret for him when the medics talk gobbledegook.

But we soldier on and pray for those whose lives have been disrupted forever by the virus. The figures of people who have died as at 9 o’clock this morning is 711, with 4,399 people infected. It’s still awful, but they tell me on the telly that it’s getting better. Hope so. God bless.

No longer leukaemia….but Pseudomonas….. and isolation, Day 47

I quite like an early wake-up call. Especially if it’s John phoning early from the hospital for a chat, as he did yesterday. But I wasn’t prepared for this morning’s wake-up call, which was a bit of a shock. I found Mum looming over me at 7 o’clock, telling me she didn’t feel very well. This wasn’t exactly the sort of wake-up call I’d really envisaged to be honest. She had a bad tummy ache. Well, there wasn’t a lot I could do and, as there were no other symptoms, I sent her back to bed and snoozed on for a while myself, before chatting to John.

The tummy ache didn’t develop into anything more serious so, for Mum, the day passed along the lines of: snooze in the morning; drink tea; get up; drink tea; snooze after lunch; drink tea…..and so on – you get the picture. I was able to persuade her to have a little toddle in the garden though, in the warmth of the afternoon sun, which she enjoyed.

John also decided he might have a little toddle in his room today, calculating how many times round the bed he’d need to go to make up a half-marathon. However, one trip round the bed was enough to convince him that it wasn’t such a good idea after all, lung capacity being a bit thin on the ground just now.

So he opted for the ‘look after me’ stance instead and allowed the nursing staff to do whatever needed to be done to improve the situation. Including, it transpires, the delivery of jugs of water at regular intervals. “You must drink more water,” they admonished. So, doing as he’s told, he is doing just that. The only trouble is, he said, is that he’ll soon be dissolving himself with the amount he’s imbibing. A ‘John solution’ – now that has a nice ring to it!!

Talking of solutions…..with Mum being a bit ‘meh’ this morning, I offered her a couple of paracetamol. To my surprise, she said ‘yes’ so I popped into our bedroom to fetch some from the bedside cabinet. On the way, I noticed for the umpteenth time and to my irritation, that a couple shoe boxes under the chest of drawers were sticking out, so I resolved to rectify the situation. I pulled them out to rearrange them, only to reveal…….. a shiny blue bag with a label on it: ‘To my darling husband, John. Enjoy! All my love Anne.’ Oh. Ahhhhh…… erm…….very red face.

I took a photo of the bag and sent it to John. ‘What’s this?’ I asked. ‘Headlining?’ he responded. Might be…might be….

And so, after having bought a new headlining for the Lotus because we couldn’t find the one I had for him for Christmas, there we are. And there it was – in a safe place, tucked away, gift-wrapped ready for Santa to distribute. Only Santa didn’t – and now John’s got two of the wretched things. Got to look on the bright side though. As John said, ‘I’ll be able to practise on one to get it right on the other.’ Ohhh….. that’s alright then!

In other news, I wore my smug face today. After the debacle of the car not starting the other day, Malcolm asked if we’d like to borrow his trickle charger to keep the battery topped up whilst the car stands on the drive. Yes, please. He brought it round this afternoon and gave me precise instructions on how to fit it. Normally, I can’t even find where the lever is to lift the bonnet, let alone the release button on the actual bonnet itself, so I thought it might be a challenge. But no. I followed the instructions to the letter, and hey presto!! the trickle charger is fitted, and the car will be raring to go once we get the call to collect the ol’ man from hospital.

And the day finished on a very nice note. Fran had arranged a quiz evening with John’s Uni friends (isn’t just everybody doing quizzes now?) but, because John is in hospital, it was suggested that perhaps just a catch-up would be best. Well, it was so lovely to see everyone – Pete & Fran, George & Val, Nev & Jane and Kelv & Ren. We all had a good old chinwag and even John joined in from his hospital bed all evening. Fab.

Despite the fact the John is not here, leaving me feeling a little bit adrift, today has been a very comfortable day – it being interspersed with conversations with the kids and the grand kids, friends on the doorstep and comforting words from others on email or social media.

In among the official figures we recognise individual people now – John being one of the number tested for Coronavirus. Fortunately, his test came back negative. But as at 9 o’clock this morning, 4,806 people did test positive and 621 people died. It’s horrible reading and I’m praying it will decline and desist soon.

Be vigilant and stay safe everyone.

No longer leukaemia…..but Pseudomonas…. and isolation, Day 46

I am not as strong as I was. I found that out today, as I fought with the king-size mattress to ‘do the turn’ on it. It fought back – but, even though it was bigger than me, I certainly wasn’t going to let it win. So I left it to sulk for a bit while I got on with other things; I left it to think of the error of its ways and to consider co-operating with me when I went back later to have another go at ‘the turn’. The ruse worked and, as neatly as that, it slid back into place without so much as a whimper. Result.

I was glad about that because I wanted to make and tidy the bed up, in order to put a recently-delivered piece of ‘the project’ by its side, so that when John comes home, he knows exactly where it is. Now, why should this be so important? Funny you should ask that. Well, I had the very self-same piece to offer him as a Christmas gift. The piece arrived in the house and it may still be somewhere in the house. But we haven’t got a clue as to where it actually is.

We only realised that we’d lost it when John came to the point of wanting to fit it. “Where’s that headlining you gave me for Christmas?” he asked. “Dunno,” I said casually, expecting it to be in the office/car/garage or on his desk. We have hunted high and low for the darned thing but it’s never turned up…..yet. Although, now that we’ve bought a new one, we’re bound to find it in a ‘safe’ place somewhere no doubt!

Anyway, the headlining is by his side of the bed so that he can’t miss it when he gets back. No news on when he’ll be home yet though. He has been treated all day with intravenous antibiotics and nebulised antibiotics, and we hear the nebuliser will be his friend when he gets home for the foreseeable. He tells us he’s not feeling too bad, but then, of course, he’s not charging about, he’s just lying in bed, or sitting in a chair, or walking about three yards to the loo and back. Not much exertion required just now.

At tea-time, as we sat down to our meal, Mum said, “It’s strange without John, isn’t it?” I had to agree with her. The strangest thing is that I am not able to visit the ol’ man. Normally I’m pretty much glued to his side when he’s in hospital; and I usually return home to an empty house and then do pretty much as I please. Not so now, though. Strange times.

All day people have been phoning or emailing or texting, sending their love and best wishes for John’s speedy recovery, and that’s been so lovely. I have delighted in the conversations I’ve had with everyone in whichever medium and been pleased to pass on the good wishes. Most of the communication has been on my phone. And if Mum has said it once, she has said it a dozen times, “What are you doing on your phone all the time?” This new way of connecting with people is so alien to her, and her memory isn’t so good, that she just must make the comment each time. Bless her.

I did do as I pleased at lunchtime though and sat quietly for three quarters of an hour while I followed another funeral service – today it was for Melva Brown. It was a very peaceful forty-five minutes and very poignant as I followed the order of service and played the music and songs that had been chosen to remember Melva by. Particularly apt for the occasion, and also for everyone’s current situation, was the outgoing track of ‘Smile’ orchestrated by Andre Rieu and sung by Jermaine Jackson. ‘Smile…. though your heart is aching; Smile…….. even though it’s breaking……‘ etc.

“Let’s be positive and take forward the good things” my friends reminded me today, which is a great philosophy to live by – and I do think it starts with a smile; of which I’ve had lots today, courtesy of John in our video chats, the family in their crazy WhatsApp chats and friends who’ve lightened the load, with chats or errands. Thank you everyone.

And the positive news in the government briefing today, as far as the Coronavirus is concerned, is that we are ‘past the peak’. I do hope so. A further 6,201 people, according to the official figures and as at 9 o’clock this morning, are recorded as infected, and another 739 people have died.

Smile, everyone? Well, let’s do our best. Because ‘maybe tomorrow you’ll see the sun come shining thro’ for you……….God bless.


No longer leukaemia…. but Pseudomonas…. and isolation, Day 45

The A45 was busy, both on the way there and on the way back. In fact, coming back via the shortcut, there was a six-car queue to re-join the main carriageway. Lock down? Crikey, it seemed almost like ordinary mid-day travelling into Birmingham today. The traffic is definitely building up again – we can hear the thrum of it each day past our house now – shwoom…..shwoom….shwoom….

An essential journey? Oh, yes. Mr Wheezy Chest’s chest had got even wheezier overnight, and I decided to seek the consultant’s opinion today. Didn’t actually get through to the consultant though. Spoke to knowledgeable Sisters who know about such things and each one said, “Take him to A & E.” So, we did. His bag packed and his drugs on hand, we had a little toddle out to Heartlands.

“They might not keep me in.” he said, ever hopeful. “We’ll see.” I said.

Temperature, blood pressure, blood samples, ECG, an X-ray all taken, and a nebuliser administered; and the upshot was a move to a room without a view, on Ward 26. Intravenous antibiotics will start tomorrow.

“What did the X-ray show?” John asked the doctor, who replied, “It definitely shows an infection in your lungs. And listening to your chest, it’s all over your lungs. The sample that was tested shows it is Pseudomonas.”

We don’t know how long John will be in hospital, but suffice to say, neither of us had imagined this scenario during lock down. We were being really careful, shielding and trying to look after ourselves. But the reality is, that this little bug(ger) has been present in John’s lungs for a while, probably before we went into isolation, and it has colonised and colonised, resistant to all the antibiotics previously prescribed.

While I was making phone calls this morning, John was processing what the outcome might be. So was I. And when the inevitable, “Take him to A&E” came, neither of us much wanted to take the advice. I didn’t really want to take him, and he didn’t really want to go. But Mr & Mrs Sensible Heads arrived and off we went. I was actually well in control while I did the packing and driving, but felt all the weight of the decision when we said goodbye at the hospital entrance. Relatives are not allowed in…….

Once home, I sat in the car for a while and thought I’d phone a couple of my besties to offload a bit. Neither were available just then, but both came up trumps a little while later. As did the college crew later on this evening – cheered me up no end.

Without friends and family, who are just there when we need them, I don’t know how we’d cope. The kids: “You are making the right decision, to go to A&E.” and “Want to use my car?” when ours wouldn’t start just before we set off, and “I’ll come over???”, then dear Peter, who came and jump-started the car, so we could get going.

Mum was as good as gold while this was all happening, and she did what she always does now – watched TV and drank tea. Very British.

Meanwhile, I had other things on my mind too, today. A farewell to Trevor Boult, whose funeral took place this afternoon. Just a few able to attend, of course, due to restrictions, so I lit a candle to meditate by, followed the order of service that his family had compiled, and marvelled at his artwork which I had alongside. God rest his soul.

And, whatever your beliefs are, let’s hold everyone who is sick, or who has died in recent weeks, in our hearts; including the people who tested positive for the Coronavirus (6,032) or died of it yesterday (674).

Peace be with you – and, if it’s your inclination, please hold us in your prayers.

No longer leukaemia….but isolation, Day 44

After my little rant the other day, which seemed to reveal that I was not quite so perky as usual, friends and family offered advice and support, for which I am very grateful. We are all dealing with the effects of social distancing and isolation differently, and it is so helpful to get others’ perspectives, isn’t it?

Every single day of our lives is uncharted territory – but normally, we have something to which we can relate our daily happenings, and we can usually draw on previous experiences to help us navigate our way through. But I am finding that there is not much in my history that relates to what is happening just now. The pandemic really is an experience that we have never had in our lifetime before.

I was pleased, therefore, to receive ‘a little list’ as one of the offerings of advice, along the lines of ‘10 helpful tips to keep you sane during the Corona Virus pandemic’. I love a little list. There’s a sense of satisfaction in being able to cross an item off, in my opinion. Sometimes, (anyone else relate to this?) I even add an item of something I have just done to a list, so that I can immediately cross it off! Job done? Yep! Breathes on finger nails and polishes them on chest……

Anyway, it’s a very good list. Nothing unexpected on it, of course, but gentle reminders to exercise, meditate, relax, learn something, use technology to connect with others, limit screen time etc.

So thanks to the ‘10 helpful tips…’ today has been another good day. I felt motivated by the gentle reminders and committed to following the whole of Jaime’s yoga class this morning, while Mum and John snoozed on (John, attempting to repair his wheezy chest, and Mum, just because she’s old, I think). The commitment was there and I did follow the whole of the class, but it took a little longer than the hour I’d planned…..

I sat on my mat, cross-legged, ready to start. The doorbell rang. Pause the video. Belt downstairs. Oh, how lovely!! It’s Jack, delivering Mum’s What’s On TV. Hunted round for money to pay him. Stood and had a nice, long-distance chat – garden gate to front door shouty chat. Run back upstairs, re-start the video, sit cross-legged, follow the instructions for about ten minutes…..the doorbell rang. Pause the video. Belt downstairs. Oh, good! Prescription delivery – that’s a relief. Grateful wave to the delivery driver (whose name I don’t know but would love to find out). Run back upstairs. Re-start the video, lay on the mat, wave legs in the air, trying to re-build a now defunct core…….the doorbell rang. Leap up. Pause the video. Belt downstairs. Oh, wonderful! A food parcel! Grateful grin to delivery driver. Trundle into kitchen. Wash the food. Run back upstairs. Re-start the video. Lay back on the mat, wave legs in the air some more…….and finish the class, probably about two hours after I started.

The day so far? Exercise: Meditation: Relaxation:

We lunched at about 1.30, just after Mum got up. Still her dressing gown, she enjoyed her egg sandwiches and watching ‘Doctors’. And then we decided to choose a film for the afternoon again. We chose a gangster-type of film – can’t even remember what it was called, it was so bad. But it was certainly an education. Learn something?

After our evening meal, we quizzed with our dear Centre Stage crew. So lovely to see them – I love their company. They make me laugh, as well as think. A great night together and we all did well on the quiz. Use technology to connect with others?

A good day – one which meant I wasn’t glued to my phone. I was shocked to find that my screen time since lock down started, is up by about about five hours a day!!! No wonder I’m feeling disorientated. Constantly scrolling through social media – first Facebook, then Instagram, then Twitter – and back again – and then playing a scrabble game for hours on end, then reading the news….. it has all added up, stealthily, to an unhealthy amount of time. Gotcha! Not going to do that quite so much any more. Limit screen time? (planned anyway……).

It was a good day for many others today too, I have no doubt, including Boris and his partner, who had a little boy early this morning. But obviously, not so good for all those still being affected by the virus. The daily reported government figures now include those affected in care homes, so there is an increase: 4,076 lab-confirmed cases; 765 COVID-19 associated deaths. Of course, the figures are not accurate and can’t tell the whole story, but they are a reminder of why we’re all in lock down. Stay safe everyone and God bless.

No longer leukaemia….. but isolation, Day 43

So, Superman to the rescue!! And, just like that, the dishwasher is fixed! Hurrah! Hurrah! I am extremely relieved that I don’t have to be doing the washing up by hand. Thank you, John. Mwah!

Also relieved that there was rain again today. The plants in the garden so needed a drink and it was another day when the pressure was off, and no need to tidy things up outside. Not that I did much tidying inside today either as it was a busy day in one way or another.

Firstly, ‘The Breakfast Club’ got together for the first time since lock down, for a chat on Zoom this morning. It was so lovely to see smiling faces and, of course, catch up on everyone’s news. Even Mum zoomed into view temporarily and waved at everyone to say hello. Everyone’s story is different during lock down of course, so it was good to hear the positives, and sympathise with those who are experiencing the negatives. It was an hour well spent and I came away from the chat nicely uplifted.

Then the morning moved on with a chat to the doctor about John’s chest, and we were reassured that the antibiotics he’s got ought to do the trick – fingers crossed – or else……. and then, still on medical matters, I was just about to phone the pharmacy to check that they were sorting Mum’s drugs out when they were delivered to the door. How grateful I feel for those who are looking after us.

A little flurry of excitement followed, with Mum receiving a phone call from her friend Janet. The news wasn’t good though, as Janet disclosed that another friend, Audrey, had died on Sunday. Mum was upset but philosophical, as Audrey would have been 92 in June. Janet didn’t know the cause of death, so we wait to find out.

After lunch, I flicked through the TV channels to see what was on, initially for Mum’s entertainment, but alighted upon the film ‘Evita’ which we had never watched. Well, why not sit and watch it this afternoon? Nothing else pressing, is there? So that’s what we did. I thoroughly enjoyed it and thought that even after all these years it stood the test of time – good music, well-acted and particularly well directed.

Another little flurry of excitement for Mum during the film when the postman called with letters. Mum’s birthday card from Graham and Gail had finally arrived! Sent just over a week before Mum’s birthday and at the start of the lock down, it’s only taken six weeks to get here from Oz!! In normal times, of course, with a high frequency of planes to and fro from Ol’ Blighty to Oz letters often arrive within a week or so. But these are not normal times are they?

And finally, and wonderfully, we had a family quiz night, hosted by our grand-daughter Catherine. With an hour or so to go, we were informed we were to wear fancy dress. Oh, crikey!! I don’t have much in the way of fancy dress any more, but we managed to pull out a Lotus Grand Prix racing cap for John, and Arabian clothes for me – it is Ramadan, after all…..

We really enjoyed seeing everyone and doing the quiz – although I was struck by how old we are! Our recall ability is zilch, and what do we know about Michael Jackson music and the Noughties films?? Very little, it turned out!! But for a bonus question at the end worth 10 points, we would have come bottom….. eeesh…..

Lots to be thankful for today.

And the figures reported by the official government website today tell the tale of 3,996 lab-confirmed infectees, and 586 deaths as of 7.14 a.m. Dear Lord, have mercy on us.

No longer leukaemia….but isolation, Day 42

You could have knocked me down with a feather this morning. My phone rang and, when I answered it, it was my brother, Graham, phoning from Oz. It is rarely he who phones us, (normally leaving the communication side of things to Gail) so momentarily, I wavered between the thrill of hearing his voice and then anxiety that he might be imparting some unwelcome news. It turned out that the former emotion was the one to hold on to.

He had celebrated his 70th birthday in February, at which time I’d arranged for special bottles of wine to be delivered from Mum, and they had finally arrived. He was phoning to thank Mum very much. Well, she was delighted to talk to him as you can imagine, and it bucked her up so much so, that when she got dressed later, she also put on her make-up and she looked like a proper bobby-dazzler for the rest of the day.

After the phone call, I went to inspect the pond and, having left the pump on overnight, I saw that the water level had fallen by about four inches. So, we know that the bloomin’ thing is still leaking, much to our dismay (and probably the neighbour’s too, as her house floats down the street). Not yet tried to fix it though, as John’s still coughing well, and his hip is still giving him jip. Relying on John’s brilliant expertise, as usual, as it’s all a mystery to me and I have no idea where to start to mend it.

Talking of things all broken, for the third day in a row another item in the kitchen fell apart. This time it was the dishwasher front. It just came orf in me ‘and, guv!! And, funnily enough, the dishwasher doesn’t work without a front on it. Not tried to mend that yet either. And I do hate washing up……

But, oddly, despite things not quite going according to how I’d like them, I felt less pressured today. The reason? Well, the weather!! It was okay to be pottering around the house today, as it wasn’t stunningly warm or sunny. The weather was great for gardening, but I didn’t feel I had to be out there. What a topsy-turvy world I’m living in now, to be sure!

Talking of a topsy-turvy world – yoga has been my lifesaver for many a year, as has meditation. With a fast-paced life at work, and then in more recent years, with the stresses of John’s illness, my ‘go-to’ has been yoga practice. For five years I’ve been a regular at Jaime’s BodyMind Yoga classes and there, with her guidance and wisdom, I have built up strength and resilience. But now we’re in lock down, bizarrely, I am not using my ‘go-to’ saviour as much as I thought I would! How mad is that? Jaime is posting great classes online, but apart from the odd stretch or two, I’m finding I can’t quite concentrate….. and my muscles have now gone to mush. I am sure I need to get back to it, folks – more planks and downward dogs – but will I? Lock down is messing with my head! And clearly my body! Anyone else?

The other thing that is messing with my head is the news. Honestly, at different moments, I am either numbed by the repetition of it all; or elated by the stories of heroic deeds and people; or appalled by the stupidity of some people; or disgusted at the cruelty of others. This roller coaster of emotions every day is just exhausting! I am beginning to see the merits of the back-to-back TV programmes we have on for Mum like Tenable, Tipping Point and the Chase…..

But I do watch the news anyway – and find today’s editions only a little lighter in tone than yesterday’s (although I’m not sure I am keen on the ‘fighting talk’ offered by Boris now he’s back). However, Malcolm reminded me that the figures of the infectees I am picking off the government stats page are those who’ve been tested not hospitalised – he’s right, of course, and I apologise for misleading anyone…… so, as of yesterday there were 4,310 people who were tested as positive for COVID-19, and there were 360 COVID-19 associated deaths in hospitals.

There is a glimmer of hope in the figures, but that’s still an awful lot of people affected by the virus with family members anxious or grieving. Particularly poignant was a tweet yesterday on Twitter by a man just released from hospital, telling us he’d been grateful for all the medics’ care and that he’d thought, for a while there, that ‘he was a goner’. Today, his friend tweeted that he had, in fact, then died at home, overnight. Shocking. My heart goes out to his family and friends and everyone who’s experiencing such trauma just now. Peace be with you all.

No longer leukaemia….but isolation, Day 41

Fed up with the intensive labour of love on cleaning my kitchen cupboards, I brought in the ‘big guns’ today. Out went the bottle of Flash and in came sugar soap. Out went the beeswax polish and (although risking an asthma attack), in came a propellant-filled can of Mr Pledge. Both did the trick and I got to the end of kitchen cupboard cleaning fairly quickly. Hurrah!! It took me all day on and off, but it’s done. (Does a little hop and a skip around the kitchen).

It’s not only the kitchen that’s keeping us busy of course with the pond still posing problems. We could see a leak in the pipe by the pump, so John added a bit of guttering to catch the drips. In doing so, he shifted the stylish broken plant pot, which meant that water was now pouring, initially unnoticed, all over the patio. I tried to rectify the position of the plant pot, but to no avail, and so I am expecting a half-empty pond tomorrow morning……..perhaps I should go and switch the pump off now?

In addition to trying to finalise the refurbishment of the kitchen and sort out the pond, there’s a lot of skip-filling happening. John is always in his element when he’s having a clear-out, and today was no exception. Bad back or no, he was determined to clear the side of the house. Large sheets of glass were hauled across the drive and heaved up into the skip. Every intended attempt at smashing the darned things went begging, then one of them self-combusted on being loaded into the skip, and another succumbed as John threw a lump of concrete in. It was like ‘Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds’ as a shower of glass flew into the air and sparkled all over the drive. Fortunately, it was safety glass, so no-one was hurt, but there was a lot of sweeping up……

Mum did her ‘what-is-now-usual’ thing of lying in bed until all hours then dithering as to whether to have breakfast or lunch because it’s mid-day -“Oh, my goodness, is that the time?” – by the time she’s downstairs. Had to chuckle this morning, though. I met her coming out of her room at about a quarter to ten. “Morning, Mum!” I said, very brightly. “Morning!” she responded equally brightly, and then pottered off to the bathroom. About half an hour later, she hadn’t come downstairs, so I thought I’d better check on her. She had only put herself back to bed and was snoozing very nicely, thank you!!

The trouble is, a late start means she doesn’t want to go to bed at night. We start the process at 10.30 but it’s always gone midnight by the time she’s actually in bed. Ah, well….I suppose it’s not as if we have any pressing engagements to worry about!

Being Sunday though, I had risen a bit earlier today to ‘go to church’ at 9.30. The service is published on the web and you can access it any time really, but I like to join in at the regular time, knowing that friends are alongside me worshipping at the same moment. Lovely reading by Margaret today, and prayers led by Mark and Moira. I thought Peter’s sermon was spot on, too.

Equally, I lit my Candle of Hope at 7 o’clock this evening, knowing that there would be candles burning all over the country as a symbol of togetherness during this time of separateness. A symbol to remind us all not to give up, but to keep on keeping on. And with the lighting of the candle, a prayer for all those who are sick with COVID-19 (4,463 hospital cases as of yesterday) or who have died as a result of the infection (413). Peace be with you.

No longer leukaemia…… but isolation, Day 40

Last year, the weather was good too….

As I’ve mentioned before, we couldn’t do our annual egg-rolling contest at Easter this year. However, because the loss of the contest was much lamented, Michael sent us this photo to remind us of what some of the family were doing more or less this time last year. We all look so happy, don’t we? And wow! the weather was good then too……..aaahhhh, lovely memories – especially as we finished off the event with an ice cream each!!

This year, we did ‘virtual’ egg-rolling of course, and find ourselves doing virtually everything ‘virtually’ nowadays! Play scrabble with friends and family? Yes please! But using an app. Spend an evening in with friends? Yes please! But on Skype. Chat to the family? Yes, please! But on a WhatsApp group. Go to church? Yes, please! But via the church website. Take Jaime’s yoga class? Yes, please! But via Youtube.

So, it was a thrill and delight to see first-born, Paul, in person this afternoon. He called on his way back from shopping, to collect a parcel I had sent for, for Lily. He stood in the middle of the back lawn, and we sat up on the patio for a few minutes’ chat. It was a gem of a moment, for which I was extremely grateful. He departed, without the much longed-for hug, but his gesture of love as he left – the donation of a bottle of one of my favourite wines, a Pouilly Fumé – just had me. Marvellous, aren’t they, your kids?

The opportunity to sit out in the garden, of course, was due to the glorious weather again, and even Mum ventured out to sit awhile and chat to Paul. This time, no coat needed, cushions nor blanket – she was content just to sit and enjoy chatting, and then, when Paul left, to watch John and me potter about in the garden.

One of today’s projects: stop the pond from leaking. An ongoing saga really, but suffice to say, there’s a mystery. We have no idea what is happening to the water, which is disappearing every time we switch the pump on for the waterfall. The poor fish have been waterfall-less for nearly a year. However, John used his substantial talent for ingenuity, fitted a piece of copper pipe to the pump outlet and aimed the water down a broken plant pot, avoiding (what might be) the porous stones. That’ll do it, we both thought! Well, it might have done – we’ll know when we double-check in the morning. But I already have my doubts….. I think the water level might be going down even now…..

But back to another ongoing saga – that of kitchen cupboard cleaning. It is still not finished. I think I am about half-way round and cursing the fiddly bits. Conscientious to the last, I am not only cleaning, but beeswax polishing too. I wonder if that’s what’s taking the time? Anyway, en route, as it were, in my travels from cupboard to cupboard, I came upon the bread bin. It looked a bit sad and sorry for itself, so I thought I’d give it a bit of a polish. Perhaps I rubbed too hard, but the bloomin’ thing collapsed into several pieces on me! Another day when all the tools came out and another forty-five minutes of fighting with it to get it back together again!! It’s no wonder I’m not getting the cupboards finished, is it? What, I wonder, will fall apart tomorrow? Just hope it’s not me!!!

Sanity, though, has been much restored by a great evening chatting on Skype with Pete and Dawn. So lovely to see them and chew the cud. They always bring a different perspective to life’s little difficulties for which I am always grateful. There was much up-and-downing though, just before we said goodbye, as several of the party were keen to catch a glimpse of Elon Musk’s Starlinks satellites skooting across the sky. We weren’t successful our end, but then, we did give up pretty quickly, as it was too darned cold to be outside long. Especially as John is still coughing well….

Looking up to the heavens, my soul always amazes at enormity of the universe and how tiny we are. And yet, despite our tininess, we loom large in each others’ lives every day. And so, with sadness, my heart goes out to all those families whose loved ones, who loomed large in their lives, are sick or are dying or have died. And yesterday, we lost 813 people to COVID-19, taking the death toll over 20,000, and nearly 5,000 people were infected. It’s still far too many and I am just praying and hoping that the figures will start to reduce soon. The heartache is too great.

No longer leukaemia…. but isolation, Day 39

At 94 years old (I suppose she’s allowed) Mum feels the cold. John and I had a great moment sitting in the warmth of the sunshine in the garden this afternoon, so I suggested I collect Mum to join us. She was cosy, watching ‘The Chase’ when I went in, and she definitely wasn’t keen to go outside. Literally whining as I winkled her out of the chair, which sort of tickled me, but, ‘Come on, Mum, you’ll enjoy it!’

Anticipating that she’d need cushions (I took two) and she might feel a draft for any (non-existent) breeze, I also took a blanket with us. We installed her in a nice, comfy chair and, for a moment, it was all lovely, then there was a little gust of wind and she shivered, “Oooh, it’s cold, isn’t it?”, so I wrapped her in the blanket before sending a picture of her to the family, to which Paul said she was like ‘Little Red Riding Hood’.

I popped back into the house after a while and glanced at the thermometer. Indoors: 22.9 degrees (don’t judge us). Outdoors: 23.7 degrees. The figures don’t mean anything to Mum, of course. We were roasting outside, but she felt cold and thought she’d be better off indoors, despite us telling her it was warmer outside. In the end, she did stay a while and drank a sherry as an aperitif before we escorted her into the lounge again. But it has made me think about how we view our physical and mental selves. If only we could put ourselves in others’ shoes, eh?

Anyway, in line with Jasper Carrot’s ‘watching wood warp’ scenario, and episode two of the cupboard cleaning story – I didn’t, regrettably, finish cleaning the darned things! The pesky cupboards are a lot more complicated than you imagine. And not only that, I managed to pull the front of one of them off, so spent a good 45 minutes trying to get the thing back on again. Had to get screwdrivers, pliers, hammers and the glue gun out to sort it out. Didn’t want to ask John to help, as he was struggling with his own pesky stuff on his ‘project’ in the garage……

As it turned out, the steering wheel he sent for and which subsequently arrived, should have fitted. What went wrong then? Well, it was the mole wrench wot done it! The grip of the mole wrench had flattened out the splines on the steering column of the car, so it struggled to accommodate the boss kit. 48 hours after the thrill of the steering wheel arriving, another parcel arrived containing needle files which enabled John to clean up the damaged splines, and…… ta-dah! The steering wheel is on!! (Well, more or less).

Knowing that John was having a fiddle with the car, Bryan dropped by to have a look at a safe distance. It was lovely to see him, and we didn’t have to shout too loud to make ourselves heard. Equally, I didn’t have to shout too loud when Sue C and David walked past the front of the house this evening on their way to deliver Sue’s hand-made scrubs. Again, so lovely to see them – and I celebrated internally, two points of ‘other-than-home’ human contact in one day. Nice.

Being outside in the warmth and beautiful sunshine, relaxing and chatting makes one think that you’re on holiday though doesn’t it? And, inevitably, a glass of something? Well, it would be rude not to. So I did – I opened a nice bottle of Prosecco and then, of course, chocolate followed…. oh, dear, oh, dear…..I shall cartainly waddle out of the door after lock down finishes!

Which, of course, is more than the 684 people who have died will be able to do, having succumbed to the virus. But here’s praying that every single one of the 5,386 people recorded as infected yesterday will recover and enjoy their favourite tipple in their garden or the pub soon. God bless.