It’s the old analogy: your cup is full and it is only the surface tension of the liquid that’s holding the contents of the cup in place. Just one more drop, and it’ll burst its banks……. the liquid is quite literally teetering on the edge.
On the one hand, it’s good to have a cup that is full, but I suppose it depends what it is full of! Currently, mine is full of ‘what ifs’/’if onlys’/’I wish…..’ and sorrowful sighs.
Of course, it’s been the time of the year when the nights have drawn in, and we have had so many birthday celebrations that the poignancy of John being missing in all the fun, has hit hard. Despite the fact that ‘I am doing well’, my cup is teetering on the edge and a period of hibernation feels like a welcome option.
So, on Thursday, I had a duvet day. Well, more of a duvet morning really, because an acquaintance, Anne Horleston, came for coffee in the afternoon – but it had felt good to just stay under the covers for a few illicit hours. I think I need one or two more of those…..
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I have been busy, of course. I had an exciting weekend at the Kenilworth Originals with Freddie and the pups. Paul and Harriet were off to a wedding celebration, so I babysat overnight.
Freddie was on good form and great company throughout the weekend, only once feeling disappointed and struggling to stay on an even keel on Sunday, while he waited for Mum and Dad to come home. Bless him. We had great fun – and rather a workout with the dogs when we took them for a walk!
I was kicking myself though, for forgetting to take my phone charger with me, and only came away with one photo of the weekend activities – and that was a party bag that Freddie had brought home. He’d been go-karting. I include the photo here ‘cos I thought it was a very posh party bag!!! I mean, look at those lovely iced biscuits!
On Monday I babysat Oliver, of the Kenilworth Newbies tribe, as is now my custom. We had more fun – but I failed with the photography of our time together again!! The trouble is, we’re having too much fun! Hehe!
My own birthday celebrations started early, with cards plopping through the letterbox on Monday; and then, later on, a beautiful bouquet for flowers arriving on the doorstep from Carol and John. It was a lovely surprise. Eeeh, I’m a lucky girl!
My phone was charged up and ready and waiting for the shock of waking up to snow on Tuesday though! I hadn’t taken any notice of the news or weather forecast on Monday, so I wasn’t expecting a white-out in the garden when I opened the curtains, were you?
I had a lovely day on Wednesday, my birthday, with a visit to Pete and Dawn’s in the morning – tea and biscuits, a game of Scrabble and then a spot of lunch. Paul came and collected me in the afternoon and we toddled off to the Green Man for our supper with the Kenilworth contingent, before ending up at Michael’s for a few fireworks! I don’t know who had more fun – the children or the adults!! Hehe.
The day ended with an enjoyable Quiz Night and more birthday wishes.
And yesterday? Another lovely day with Richard and Jill, who brought luscious chocolates for my birthday. We had planned a walk, but with one thing and another we cried off and just went to the pub for lunch instead!! Very nice. Then Catherine came after work and we had a bite to eat together. She came, carrying a large parcel – another birthday gift. And what a thoughtful one! An advent calendar in the form of a daily jigsaw – all to make up this wonderful family photo we had taken for my 70th a couple of years ago.
Such a heartfelt thank you to everyone who sent good wishes, cards and gifts. Honestly, I’m such a lucky girl!
‘Grief is like living two lives. One is where you pretend that everything is alright, and the other is where your heart silently screams in pain.’ Giles Paley-Philips