Goodbye Mum

I said goodbye to Mum today. Phone call just after 9 a.m. to tell me that she had died about half an hour or so before.

I had planned to spend the day with Anita – brunch first, then sorting out some of Mum’s papers together. However, I cancelled the arrangement and went over to the hospital to talk to the doctors and nurses who had been looking after Mum instead.

There was not a lot to say, really – other than Mum had been unwell during the night and they had tried infusions of antibiotics, to counter the infection they had discovered in her blood, and paracetamol for pain relief.

The doctor I spoke to was very kind and said all the right things. So, too, did the sister in charge, so I came away, having stroked Mum’s forehead as a farewell, feeling sad, but not overwrought.

I am sad that Mum’s life has passed away, but relieved that her suffering has ceased. The last few weeks have not been nice for her at all, bless her.

Feeling the need to do something, I went across to the care home after I left the hospital and brought a few of Mum’s things back with me – but realised I hadn’t quite taken enough suitcases with me, having forgotten just how many things she had accumulated in the time she had been there. Another trip will be required, methinks.

Meanwhile, John had gone out for breakfast with Bryan this morning and had a good time. With the knowledge that Mum had passed on, John and Bryan were able to chew the cud a bit with regards to dealing with the fallout of such an occasion, which I think John found very helpful.

I spoke to Graham to let him know, and he promptly abandoned the evening out he’d been having to await more news. For once, the WhatsApp phone calls between us worked and so we were able to commiserate with each other, quite uninterrupted.

Naturally, the immediate family is upset. No matter how old, how cantankerous or how demanding Mum had been during her lifetime, we all loved her dearly and, in recent years, she had been positively angelic, so good memories have been generated. She was a massive presence in our lives, always.

This afternoon, Michael said he was going to take Chester for a walk. I too, had been thinking I’d take a walk to clear out the brain a bit, so we walked together to Paul’s and sat in his garden for a little while, talking it over. That was nice. Helpful.

As the day comes to a close, I suddenly realise how draining the emotional response to this situation is, and find I am weary. John, too, is weary, so we have sat companionably together on the sofa, with our memories, counting our blessings, happy just to be together and grateful for the family and friends drawing us in close. And so begins a new chapter….

Take care everyone. Tell those you love that you love them. God bless.

20 thoughts on “Goodbye Mum”

  1. I am so very sorry Anne but what a legacy she has left, you her beloved daughter, Graham and your beloved boys and her great grandchildren. A life lived and a wonderful future left through her family Love and prayers for you all

    1. Many thanks Liz. Much appreciated. I suppose, when you say it like that, you are right – how amazing her legacy is!

  2. Freddie and I said a prayer for her this evening. Without her me, him, you and our family would not be here.

    Rest in peace Grandma.

    Xxx

  3. It’s very difficult to let go of those you love dearly. Many happy memories made together help and sharing them with your loved ones too. Sending our love to you all xx

  4. So sad to say farewell to an amazing lady who whose legacy is my dear friend and her wonderful family. Thank you Hazel, you are fondly remembered. Our thoughts are with you Anne and all the family as you come to terms with your loss. Remember to give yourself time and space to grieve xxx

    1. Thank you my dearest – and one of my bestest- buddies. Very much appreciated.

  5. Please accept our sincere condolences Anne, John and ALL the family. I enjoyed the short moments I shared with Hazel over the years and she left quite an impression on me…I especially hold dear her Poodle Poem as I now have a Toy Poodle 💖🙏🏻🐕‍🦺 REST IN PEACE HAZEL 💖🙏🏻🐕‍🦺

    1. Thanks Lou, my dear friend. Mum was fond of you – when she had all her wits about her she talked of you. Your thoughts and wishes are very much appreciated.

  6. Hi Anne,
    Really sorry to hear this news. We only have one mum in life and no matter what it is really sad to say goodbye. You have been really supportive and kind to her in these past few years – a loving & dutiful daughter. However she’s been suffering despite good care and now she is at peace. Much love to all. You have a wonderful family and you will be there for each other. Xx

    1. Thanks Ann. I think I mostly did my best, but always thought I ought to have done more. But my priority has always been John, so whatever I have done has been in that context.

      We have indeed got a wonderful and supportive family, and fabulous friends. All of whom are stepping forward to help if and when they can. We are so blessed.

  7. So sorry Anne, saying goodbye is hard, and you’ve been through so much the last few weeks. Take time to treasure the happy times you shared together and be gentle on your self. Praying for you and all the family. xx

    1. Indeed Chris, it is hard but Mum was ready to go and I am thankful she has, as it wasn’t the best at the end. I appreciate you taking the time to send your thoughts and wishes. And prayers are very, very welcome. I seem to have lost the knack this week.😢😢

  8. Hi Anne so sorry to hear auntie Hazel has passed away its sad and a blessing at the same time. Concentrate on you and John now you have a good family and friends near bye. Take care love Sue and Brian

    1. Many thanks Sue. It means a lot to hear from you and read your words. As you say, sad and a blessing, which you know only too well.

  10. I’m so sorry for your loss Anne. It’s always a difficult time when a parent passes. So much reflection.

    Look after yourselves❤️

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