Time for Remembrance

On this day, two years ago, we were sleep-deprived and drinking copious amounts of tea. Then, as now, the leaves were tumbling from the trees and bustling along the pavements. Not that we were enjoying a walk amongst them. Rather, we were saying our goodbyes to the ol’ man and sipping tea in the belief that a cuppa would make everything alright; make us feel better; or lift our spirits.

Two years. A time lapse. But not a memory lapse.

The time lapse has somewhat softened those hard edges that were so very raw at the time. And the difficult memories, although they pop up unexpectedly and still frequently, have lessened the impulse to ‘stop the world, I want to get off’. But at this time of the year, we are pulled back to the moment when we all thought our world had actually stopped.

John stepping out of our world was never something I’d want to contemplate. I could never imagine a life without him. But here we are – carrying on and, despite the John-sized hole, making the most of what life has to offer us.

We are able to enjoy family time and love being together. We are able to enjoy the company of our friends and laugh together. We are taking in all that life offers or throws at us. The ol’ man would be pretty pleased, I think, at the good lives we’re leading. His wish was for us all to be happy – and generally, we are.

So on this day, remembering the vigil we had kept and tight bond we made as John passed away, I thank the Lord for the life he had created for us all.

I know it’s such a cliché that he is so very much missed, but oh, very much not forgotten. His essence continues on in us all.

Goodnight, my darling one.