The bedroom window is open, to let in the beautiful, fresh, spring air. The door is slightly ajar. Downstairs, I am masking up the floor, ready to paint the skirting boards. The bedroom door clunks shut. My thoughts fly to John and I hear footsteps coming down the stairs…… I look up, expecting to see him there, halfway down, grinning at me. But, of course, it’s all in my imagination and it’s yet another day without the ol’ man.
Yes, I’m at it again, letting my imagination run riot – and painting and decorating once more.
In a world in which I have been struggling to make any decisions, finally I made one in early March. I ordered a new curtain for the hallway, to set at the front door.
Many years ago, we had had a full width-of-the-wall curtain, but John was irritated by it as guests fumbled to find their way out once it was closed. So we opted for a curtain-that-swings-on-the-opening-door. That particular curtain material design was not my choice. It had been a leftover from a rush buy for one of the houses John and Paul were doing up. That just shows you how old it is!! So here we are, many, many years later – and I’m reverting back to letting guests fumble their way out of the house. Hehe.
Of course, such a decision comes with a price to pay. The domino effect of a brand new piece of material against a backdrop of shabby paintwork and the wrong colourway, sets more decision-making in motion, along with a flurry of activity.
So far, I have only managed to paint the front door….. such a lot of prep required – and we know how much I love that! Eeeeh, there’s a very long way to go. Wish me luck!
Meanwhile, I’m hoping all the practical jobs I’m doing – painting, decorating, gardening, cleaning and clearing stuff out – as well as all the lovely activities I’m now involved in, will prevent too many recurrences of expecting to see John sitting in his chair; or wandering down the path; or hearing him rummaging in the garage. It always give me a shiver down my spine when I realise it’s not real and it never will be again.
Hey-ho. On we go.