Month: April 2025

Like the silt in a turbulent river, life has been coming at me for what seems like a good long while, and visibility and anchorage has been difficult. But today, I had an unexpected few hours to myself and it felt, just for a short time, that the silt, and therefore the visibility, was settling. Anchorage? Not yet.

I’ve been looking after Freddie on a Wednesday, as we nurse him back into school. Yesterday and today was something different for him though. A trial at a forest school – which meant I wasn’t called upon for grandson minding duties.

A whole day to myself! What should I do with it? Perhaps more painting and decorating? More clearing out of cupboards? More de-cluttering of Mum’s bits and bobs?

No. I sat in the garden, in glorious sunshine, and read a book all day.

Oh my. What bliss. It feels like years since I did that. And what a pleasure it was. So calming and nurturing.

Our regular Wednesday Quiz Night was also cancelled at the last minute, so I had the evening stretching out before me too. More time for doing something different then. This time, a spot of gardening.

I tended the newly-planted fruit bushes and strawberry plants, lovingly tucking them in. I tore up weeds that are threatening to take over the patio and I ripped out some of the ivy that is killing the hedge. I tidied the patio dining area and inspected the pond into which I’d put some blanket weed remover yesterday.

And I generally admired the pretty flowers blooming throughout the garden. Particularly this one. A ‘black’ tulip. Gorgeous.

Yes, today was a settling and anchoring day. Lucky me.

Take care everyone. God bless.

The sun’s out. The sun is warming the air. Lovely. Must be time to get the Lotus out, then.

Paul sent the family a lovely memory of the ol’ man fiddling with his beloved car from this time two years ago. It must’ve been nice weather then too, cos he hasn’t got his coat on!

John did a fine job on the car, but it wasn’t quite complete, so the boys have been scratching their heads over the misfiring engine for the last eighteen months.

Finally, today, one of John’s Lotus acquaintances came over with his mate and helped have another fiddle with the engine. And this was my view from the bedroom window. Almost bliss.

Gosh, John would have loved the activity today. There were five males clustered around the car, only one of which was a child. But boy, each and every one of the others was as excited as a child as they tinkered away to their heart’s content.

Mind you, even I was excited whenever the engine started up – making a celebratory cup of tea for everyone when it was purring sweetly. It’s been a smashing day.

Take care everyone. God bless.

The bedroom window is open, to let in the beautiful, fresh, spring air. The door is slightly ajar. Downstairs, I am masking up the floor, ready to paint the skirting boards. The bedroom door clunks shut. My thoughts fly to John and I hear footsteps coming down the stairs…… I look up, expecting to see him there, halfway down, grinning at me. But, of course, it’s all in my imagination and it’s yet another day without the ol’ man.

Yes, I’m at it again, letting my imagination run riot – and painting and decorating once more.

In a world in which I have been struggling to make any decisions, finally I made one in early March. I ordered a new curtain for the hallway, to set at the front door.

Many years ago, we had had a full width-of-the-wall curtain, but John was irritated by it as guests fumbled to find their way out once it was closed. So we opted for a curtain-that-swings-on-the-opening-door. That particular curtain material design was not my choice. It had been a leftover from a rush buy for one of the houses John and Paul were doing up. That just shows you how old it is!! So here we are, many, many years later – and I’m reverting back to letting guests fumble their way out of the house. Hehe.

Of course, such a decision comes with a price to pay. The domino effect of a brand new piece of material against a backdrop of shabby paintwork and the wrong colourway, sets more decision-making in motion, along with a flurry of activity.

So far, I have only managed to paint the front door….. such a lot of prep required – and we know how much I love that! Eeeeh, there’s a very long way to go. Wish me luck!

Meanwhile, I’m hoping all the practical jobs I’m doing – painting, decorating, gardening, cleaning and clearing stuff out – as well as all the lovely activities I’m now involved in, will prevent too many recurrences of expecting to see John sitting in his chair; or wandering down the path; or hearing him rummaging in the garage. It always give me a shiver down my spine when I realise it’s not real and it never will be again.

Hey-ho. On we go.