Month: August 2024

It was to be hoped that the melancholy mood might be short-lived. It still might be, but not yet. It’s all feeling a bit of a muddle at the moment and who knows when that will end?

For a while, I had started to feel better, but here we are, back on the ‘down’ of the rollercoaster!! Oh, the thrills and spills of it all! Dizzy heights and low lows……

Mind you, lots of people have reminded me that this is to be expected, so I’ll expect away.

In the meantime, of course, I keep on keeping on (sage advice from several dear friends) and on Monday evening, I went with Linda C to the Birmingham Hippodrome to watch the show ‘Hamilton’. It had rave reviews – ‘brilliant’; ‘superb’; ‘amazing’ – were just some of the adjectives used, so we were both really looking forward to it. I chose decent (expensive) seats so that we’d be in the thick of it and be able to absorb the atmosphere.

Hahahaha…….neither of us had researched it beforehand, so we blithely entered into another realm of music that we weren’t expecting at all. Throughout, it was all ‘hip-hop’, fast-paced and very, very slick. By gum, we didn’t half have to concentrate hard to hear the words in order to get a bit of a gist as to what was going on!!

At the end of the production, everyone was one their feet – a standing ovation – and all whooping and hollering for all they were worth. Linda and I looked at each other and shrugged. Hmmm……..clearly, we’re not ‘down with it’, because we didn’t quite get it. It did make an impression upon me though, and it has set me pondering about modern thinking and how quickly this aging lark catches up with you. Definitely food for thought.

In other news, the ‘keep on keeping on’ mentality has included an enjoyable afternoon and Sunday Roast at the Kenilworth Originals where a decent helping of puppies was the order of the day.

I present to you Mabel and Marmaduke……. she’s an elegant little madam, and he’s a darling little bruiser!! Just how cute are these little dollops of loveliness?

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I was up for another open water swim; a fab chat with me bestie, Carol; a spot of gardening (yippee!); a trip to the tip (with a big thank you to Paul for the help); Quiz Night, including ‘happy birthday’ singing (rather badly on Zoom) to Caroline who had a BIG birthday this week; a yoga class (Jaime’s back – hooray!); lovely tea and cake with Margaret who makes excellent cake; and an evening meal with the Kenilworth Newbies just back from their hols – nice.

Jigsaw puzzle is also coming on……. slow, slow progress (it’s only seven weeks since I started it), but I’m determined to finish it!!

G’night all.

In January, I thought I’d better set a monthly ‘something’ to look forward to. In the end, of course, I decided to say ‘yes’ to every invitation that was offered. And what a year it’s been so far. Friends and family have surrounded me with love and support and I’ve had a cracking time.

Plans to spend August fiddling in the garden have come to nought so far, with the grand plans on hold, yet again. Which led me to start thinking about how to live.

I knew this would come. I just didn’t know when.

It also led me to say ‘no’ and cancel some invitations/activities already in place. I am hoping I haven’t offended anyone but I expect I’ll find out when people stop talking to me!!

The thing is, recording what I/we do in the blog puts a shine on things. I usually aim to make it happy-ish. Sometimes, I can’t face sharing how I’m feeling, so the blog takes a back seat and I don’t write it – even when there have been happy events or success stories. To run with the façade of ‘I’m OK’ only lasts a little while before I’m really not OK.

So this week, I wasn’t OK. No matter that I’d had a lovely couple of days at Pete and Fran’s on Monday & Tuesday; a lovely lunch with Mike Downes on Wednesday, then another lovely lunch with Moira on Friday, followed by ‘food for the elderly’ when Catherine came on Friday evening.

No matter that I’d made the effort to exercise with a couple of walks and a class of yoga. No matter that I’d had a visit from Chris bringing a bar of chocolate to cheer me up, and then had a hoot at Quiz Night.

No matter that I’d successfully done a spot of decorating and a little bit of weed-pulling and dead-heading.

As Jaime, my dear yoga teacher says, we are human ‘beings’, not ‘doings’. In ‘doing’, I am hoping that the ‘being’ will reassert itself. However, no luck so far – I am not sure who I am, or what I’m here for; I’m just trundling along doing stuff and hoping for the best. And hoping that better is yet to come.

But the decorating has turned OK, hasn’t it?

Gosh! Doesn’t time fly when you are enjoying yourself? I can’t quite believe that it’s over a week since I jotted down all the amazing things that have been happening.

Once again, life has been fabulously full of family and friends – so much so, that I’ve hardly had time to catch my breath!! A very welcome weekend visit by George and Sue for more electrics; another barbecue en famille; welcoming Andrew home for the week; greeting the Kenilworth Originals back from their travels in Oz: more babysitting; a spot of Open Water Swimming and a bit of Yoga.

As if that weren’t enough, it was all followed by a curry with Centre Stage friends; a funeral; a visit to the Jewellery Quarter and a Michelin-starred meal out; Skyping Graham and Gail; birthday cake and bubbles with Pete and Dawn – and finally, a house party at Paul and Harriet’s to celebrate their 10th wedding anniversary. Phew!

Within the wonderful activities, of course, there are moments that make you smile – for example, George making the exciting discovery of a toad at the bottom of the garden. Haven’t seen one of those for years.

Then there was Thomas carrying on the Sleath male-line tradition of showing a bum-crack when bending over. Aww…. bless, picking blackberries on ‘UncAndrew’s’ shoulders is just the best.

And, of course, no family get-together is complete unless one or other of the boys is in strong man Samson mode……

In amongst the fun and frolics however, there have been some poignant moments. Michael and Andrew got the Lotus out last Sunday (11th) to have a rummage in the engine, as they frequently do. I heard a toot-toot on the horn but didn’t take a lot of notice. They often toot-toot just for fun. Anyway, a minute later and in great excitement, Michael came pounding in, eyes sparkling, “Come and see!” he said, beckoning us out to the front drive.

Oh, wow!! There was the car, all running sweetly and everything. The boys had taken the car for a spin around the block. We were all thrilled and delighted. Naturally, there was more to check under bonnet, with the kids joining in…. and guess what? Might have shed a tear.

There was the final photo call in Oz too, posted on the WhatsApp Tribe chat, when Paul and Harriet said their farewell to Graham and Gail. Another moment when I might just have shed a tear.

And, naturally, there was Paul and Harriet’s 10th wedding anniversary house party and memories of the preparations and celebrations of that spectacular day. Might have shed a tear or two then, as well. Well, you know, what can you do?

Despite the emotional roller-coaster, these are such lovely moments mending, mending, mending me; softening the edges of the hurt and continued bewilderment of being a widow. Such moments to treasure. Cheers, everyone!

And the garden? “I’m not planning any activities in August,” I had boldly declared…… ha! ha! ha! August is halfway through and I’ve hardly touched the garden!! Eeek! The wilderness still awaits! Heeelp!! Anyone like to lay odds on whether I’ll get anything done? Hehehe!

Last Friday, it was barbecue time at my house for Pete & Dawn, Alison & Peter and Sally & Leigh. The occasion was a celebration of Alison’s few-weeks-past 70th birthday, and Dawn’s three-days-away birthday. Although tired, I was looking forward to it and it all turned out very nicely. The sun shone and company was lovely. What I hadn’t bargained for though, was a bit of a wobble.

I’d had one or two barbecues in recent weeks with the family when Paul did the cooking, so I thought I was all set. However, as I put out all the chairs, cushions and tables, then set up the barbecue itself, it dawned on me that I’d be doing John’s job – overseeing the burning of the meat! Hmm…… “Do you want a hug?” asked Alison, when she arrived. “Yes, please.” I replied. That helped, along with the fact the Peter Sharkey took over the cooking, so the wobble was over.

It was a very warm day last Friday, so we took ourselves to all the shady areas of the garden to try and keep cool. The parasols made a little bit of a difference at the patio table but, while most of us enjoyed the warmth and the sunshine, it didn’t suit Dawn awfully well. After the dessert, Dawn went home to rest in the cool of her house – after which I belatedly remembered to take photos of everyone. Ah well, next time I’ll get everyone in……

I spent the weekend resting, watching lots of the Olympics and generally fighting off the wobbles, which threatened to overwhelm. I was still in fight mode when I woke up on Monday morning and was just contemplating how to face the day when a phone call came in. It was Paul – all the way from Australia. Oh, my goodness! What a lovely boost to me that was. We spent nearly an hour nattering and saying hello to the family. Freddie, being addicted to digging in the sand, waved and shouted, “Hello Grandma!” from the depths of the beach. “Digging to England this time, instead of Australia?” I giggled. Yep – he absolutely loves it.

Everyone was well, although still a touch tired after all their antics and they had had a good few days with Graham and Gail. They look like they are having fun!

Pete and Dawn came round on Monday for a bit of cake and a glass of wine to toast Dawn’s birthday, so that rounded off the boost very nicely!

Tuesday and Wednesday were babysitting days, which were lovely once again, except that I had succumbed to a bit of a cold over the weekend. A Covid test was done, just to make sure that I wasn’t going to pass that particular dreaded lurgy on, but it was negative, so babysitting could go ahead.

We set up Andrew’s two-man tent in the garden for the children to play in and they had a whale of a time nipping in and out, in between pleas for an episode of Paw Patrol/Octonauts/Grizzly and the Lemmings…….

Meanwhile, I also nipped in and out to get drinks/toys/food/cushions etc and promptly managed to trip up the patio step and splat on my face. Argh!! I now have a lovely fat lip (very pretty) and a scratched lens in my glasses – oh, and a hefty bill for a new pair of those……… that’ll teach me to watch where I’m going!!

When I was in the sixth form, I was very excited to have free periods in amongst our lessons. I thought it was great; I’d be able to study and do my homework and generally get on with my education. Hahahaha……. in actual fact, I just messed about; procrastinated; chatted to my mates; twiddled my thumbs – you know the sort of thing?

Now that I am a grown-up, I am expecting things to have changed, because of course in theory, I know better. Or do I? Nah. Not a bit of it.

After an emotional weekend, during which I reminisced and thought muchly about my life with John, I had a couple of days free. I was full of good intentions. Lots to do and surely, I’d get on with it? No, of course not. I just faffed about, watched the Olympics and generally lived among the clutter. The bin was overflowing.

On Monday evening, I did manage a quick scoot around to stack the dishwasher in readiness for Kenilworth Newbie children baby-minding duties, which were impending the next day, but really, it wasn’t much.

Naturally, I had the very best time with the children who came to my house two days running – and who cares if the house is a mess? They certainly don’t – although it has to be said the Thomas did notice the overflowing bin, and I was shamed into emptying it.

Tuesday was far too hot to even play in the garden. William monitored the temperature, which he declared to be 28 degrees in the shade and 33 degrees in the sunshine. None of us wanted to venture outside and we played and played in the house instead. Even the Harry Potter cupboard was too hot for the boys that day. Thank goodness for cardboard boxes….

After I’d waved them all goodbye at the end of the day, I took myself off to Cliff Lakes for a cooling outdoor swim. The water was a very balmy 22 degrees and, having had my confidence boosted when I swam in Grasmere with Sue, I just swam and swam and chatted to one of the ladies there as we pootled round. I normally reckon on a ten to fifteen minute swim wherever I am. But thirty-five minutes later…….. eeeh, but it were luvly!

We’d pretty much exhausted the toys on Tuesday, so I took the boys to the park on Wednesday morning before it got too hot. More fun to be had and Oliver showed his Superman strength by pushing both of the older boys round on the roundabout. These boys never cease to amaze me!!

Cake, of course, on the way home, which delighted the boys, and then we messed about once more in the house, only venturing out later on in the afternoon when it had cooled just a little. Much watering of plants was undertaken.

And then – rhubarb!! A new crop had appeared after Paul had tended to the plot recently, so we picked it and made crumble. Lush. We ate it for tea. Crumble and custard in a heatwave? Well, why not?

Last evening, we were due to quiz. I had prepped my questions and was all ready to go when we all decided to postpone it. Some on holiday and some knackered from a bit of building clinched it. Next week? Yes, it suited me – next week’s fine. So, instead, I chatted to one of my best mates, Carol. Smashing.

And do you know what? I am still not on top of things. The bin may not be overflowing but there’s lots of rubbish everywhere else!! Oh, for a free day….. hehehe.