A family gathering

Today has been what I call a fat day. It’s felt like it’s been bursting at the seams.

Naturally, I am concerned about John’s welfare, so the first job of the day was to phone the MacMillan team to see if they could call in and discuss John’s medication. Pain relief overnight hasn’t quite been cutting it.

Second job of the day was to phone the MacMillan team at the hospital to see if they could sort side bars for John’s bed, and a little table. It transpires that neither were ordered so a separate order must be made. I mean, it’d be just like John to thrash about and tumble out of bed, wouldn’t it? Ha! Monday is when they are promising to get something delivered….hmmm. Meanwhile, there are cushions and blankets a-plenty on one side of the bed and a table blocking the fall the other.

Luckily, Andrew was at home today. Michael, too, suggested that he and the family call in. And Paul texted to say that he would drop by late morning. All in all, it turned out very well in that all the relevant people were with John and me as we talked about the nitty-gritty of John’s situation with Andrea, the MacMillan Nurse.

John himself was confused. I knew it wasn’t the morphine talking so we administered the oxygen that we now have to hand. He perked up a bit but not quite as well as I would have liked. We’ll see how he is tomorrow.

But it all comes home and lands with a massive thud when the discussion turns to the question of where John would like to spend his last days? Would he like to go back into hospital if need be? How would he like to be cared for? And would we like some help at home? John may qualify for ‘fast track’ CHC funding for such help. Would we like Andrea to investigate this?

The answer to the last question was ‘yes, please’, with the shocking realisation that an application is completed when someone probably has ‘less than three months to live’.

We didn’t like to hear it. We were upset. However, I was comforted by the fact that we were all together, sharing our love for John, despite the circumstances.

Me being me, I am pretty good at displacement activity. I wasn’t keen to dwell on what we’d just been told so, mindful of the time limit on us and the fact that the boys were with us, I decided to make the Christmas Cake. “Everyone has to have a stir and make a wish,” I declared, all the while knowing that our greatest wish could not possibly granted.

Nevertheless, I set to and started mixing up the ingredients. “Thomas would like to help you, Grandma,” said Michael, as he came into the kitchen. “Jolly good,” I replied, putting Thomas immediately on mixing duty. We did well between us, and then offered the mixing to everyone else. “Take the bowl through to Grandpa,” I said to William, as he finished his turn, “and tell him to give it a stir.” Grandpa had the final stir – his cake-making days not yet over. Just got to decorate it now!!

Danielle was busy in the kitchen, too. She had the bright idea of batch-cooking a chilli con carne for us, so she gathered all the ingredients together and set it on to simmer while I made the cake. We were very busy bees!!

Michael and I went out for a breath of fresh air late on in the afternoon, after we’d waved goodbye to Andrew who was jetting off to Berlin. He had been offered the opportunity to eat at one of the Michelin-starred restaurants there, all expenses paid, so he couldn’t say ‘no’.

Meanwhile, Michael, Thomas and I wandered through one of my favourite places, Katharine’s Wood, and then onto the play park, where Thomas was disappointed to find that all the equipment was wet and not for playing on today.

The fresh air and the chat with Michael did me good and I felt somewhat refreshed when I got home. Paul, meanwhile, sorted out our landline telephone which had been doing very silly things; and then he shot up to the pharmacy for an addition to John’s prescription to see if another pill will help the pain management overnight. Fingers crossed.

I’d like to say we sat quietly and contentedly this evening but John put the Man U vs Newcastle match on the TV……… he dozed most of the way through but said ‘yes he was watching it’ every time I suggested changing channel…… ouch.

And that was us today.

Take care everyone. God bless.

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