There’s an elephant in the room and we do not dare to acknowledge it. We do not articulate our fears. We hold back, each wondering how the other is feeling. We consider each other; we watch each other’s expressions, trying to read their thoughts; we skirt the topic; we wonder to ourselves, “Is now the right time to talk about the inevitable?” And we ponder the thought of seeing in black and white, or hearing out loud, the word ‘dying’.
John is brave and brings the topic up. We start to talk about seeing friends for one last time; what the wake should look like; how we should all remember him; how much longer we have left together and how we might spend that time.
I say that we should spend our time in, and with, love. Try to savour the moments we have. Reflect on the good times we’ve had. Thank the Lord for our many blessings and make our peace.
John agrees. But he frets. He’d like to finish the Lotus – some gubbins or other is dingle-dangling and needs a bracket. He’s bought the metal and he’s got the plan. He’d like to have a whacking great big celebration for our Golden Wedding Anniversary but that’s next July and he thinks he won’t be here.
I offer solutions: for the Lotus, draw your plans and oversee A.N. Other making and fitting the bracket. And for our anniversary? Well, we realise that over the last 12-18 months we have actually seen everyone we would have invited to celebrate with us. So, we’re not doing anything. John’s habit of missing significant wedding anniversaries has a precedent. Remember our 25th? Hehe!
We confirm our choices: to enjoy the people we have around us; treasure the memories we’ve made, in whatever time is available; and make more memories – as happy as they can be – before ‘the inevitable’ crosses our threshold.
And we hold each other very, very tight.
Take care everyone. Hold your loved ones close. God bless.
This has taken courage to write. Everyone is here for you both. You will be surrounded with love. 💕
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I could have written those words. Our situation and our solution too. You will make more memories still. You will be able to say everything that needs to be said. You will love each other even more than you thought was possible. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a gift of time that’s not afforded to everyone. Yet another reason for gratefulness. God bless you both. X
Ah…. I wondered if you would recognise the sentiment. Much love to you, sue.
Thinking of you both now and always
Thank you both
Such a brave conversation to have and such a wise way to use this precious time together.
But then I would expect nothing less of you. You have always been a such a wonderful example to us.
Good bless you both.
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You have both been so brave in having this discussion and then to manage to put it into words for your blog. I’m sure on one level it will have bought you both comfort to know you have explored each others feeling, wishes and priorities.
I’m really not sure how you did it but as others have said, that’s exactly the sort of couple you are.
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You and John are an inspiration to us all, Anne. You are both in our thoughts. 🤗🤗
Thank you so much Janet