Isolation Day 61

Hopped out of bed fairly early this morning, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, keen to face the day. The only thing is, it didn’t last….. I did that fateful thing of sitting back on the bed when I took John his morning cup of coffee, chatted with him for a while and then, when he went downstairs, I browsed social media. The brain does weird and wonderful things when it’s hooked into a phone, and I found myself feeling daft all day after that. There were things I had planned to do, but I found little inclination or energy to scamper through the day.

I was delighted to see Malcolm with my shopping mid-morning, and had a lovely chat to him but, after he left, the thought of ‘shopping washing’ descended like a dark cloud and I was a reluctant recruit. In fact, I was a reluctant recruit to nearly all tasks today – didn’t really want to prep lunch, wasn’t thrilled at doing the ironing, definitely put off cleaning the bathrooms and loos, wasn’t keen on prepping the evening meal either, and the excitement I had felt early on of pottering in the garden palled, so I didn’t do it.

I am not blaming social media totally for all of how I have behaved or felt today – I know that anxiety is playing its part. Each time John says he’s keen to get out and about and go to see the family, I feel a bit panicked. What? Leave the security of our home? Leave behind our sanitised cocoon and risk the germ-infested world? Not sure I’m ready for that yet!! Nor am I sure John’s chest is up to it yet, either, but we’ll see. In the meantime, John’s researching full boiler suits and full-face masks to buy, for when we see the kids and the grandchildren. Not sure what they’ll make of them!! Darth Vader eat your heart out…..

There is also the underlying niggle of what to do about Mum – this is also worrying me. She’s not been great again today – another dopey day, falling asleep for most of it, not knowing what she’s doing for the other half of it and irritating the socks off John again. However, I put the film ‘South Pacific’ on for her this afternoon, and she stayed awake for most of that and thoroughly enjoyed singing the songs.

John, on the other hand, is determined to ‘keep going‘ with a growl and a stiff upper lip, so he has been moving all of the gardening gear and the garden chairs from the bottom of the garden up to the newly cleared top shed. He’s done a grand job of repairing the rotting floor, fitting a shelf and attaching chipboard to the sides, ready to put hooks in and hang the garden tools up. It’s going to look ace when it’s finished. He is the most amazing man.

Despite the doldrums, we have had lovely interludes in between times, when Chris from church called to drop in some yoghurt for John that she had thoughtfully bought when she was in Sainsbury’s yesterday, plus chocolate. We had a lovely doorstep chat with her for a while too. Then, a bit later on, the doorbell rang again, and it was Caroline, on her daily walk, just stopping for a chat. How lovely it was to see her smiling face and share in uplifting talk.

And just before our evening meal I video-phoned youngest son, Andrew, and unexpectedly, chatted to him for at least an hour as I prepped the meal. It was lovely to see him and just mull over what’s been happening and share in our current triumphs and disasters. I do so love my kids and I love the fact that they are now adults. It’s so refreshing to be able have an adult-to-adult conversation with them all.

I have marked today as a ‘can do better‘ day, and I thought one of the social media posts I browsed earlier on in the day, was spot-on. After lock down, we probably do need to be stronger than before the lock down, to face the challenges of the different, emerging world before us. Stronger than before in body, mind and spirit, because who knows what the challenges will be? Much as I recognise the wisdom of the advice, I am not particularly cultivating a stronger ‘me’ just now though – maybe tomorrow?

In the meantime, thank you to everyone who is holding us up – it is such an indescribable feeling to know that there is a network of such amazing people who care enough about us to keep us going. Mwah.

So, to the numbers, just for the record, as at 9 o’clock this morning, the government’s official figures are: 3,451 people tested positive as infected with COVID-19; 260 people died in hospital and 468 in all settings. The NHS figures for yesterday were 39 deaths in hospitals.

Nothing new to see here folks. Keep on keeping on. And God bless you all.