No longer leukaemia…but Pseudomonas…. and isolation, Day 48

When you’re busy doing nothing, where do you start to describe your day? It feels like I’ve done nothing but swan about, tinker at things and walk through treacle today. In fact, I am so tired, that I didn’t even hear John’s message ping in this morning at 6.40 a.m. as I was dead to the world! Didn’t surface until the Sunday-alarm (as opposed to the weekday-alarm) went off at 8 o’clock. Oh, dear.

It was treacle, really, from the minute I got up. Everything at half-pace. I said to John, as we chatted on WhatsApp, “I can’t think why I am so tired?” He just gave me a look – you know the sort of thing he does….. hmmm…maybe I do know why I am tired!

Anyway, the day started well, yawning my way through a chat to John (who was not feeling too bad but couldn’t remember whether he’d had his antibiotics this morning), then off to ‘church’ for which I had done the reading this week – much to my fear and trepidation. How crazy is that? I ought to know my capabilities by now but lock down seems to be sapping my confidence. You? Same? Or are you all still up and buzzing?

Good church service though, with Alison doing the Gospel and the sermon, which I really enjoyed. And I sang my heart out to all the hymns. Thank God Mum’s deaf and John’s in hospital!! No potential for embarrassment there!!

A few e-chats with friends and family, before another attempt to tackle the kitchen which, I think, has a mind of its own. How does it get into such a mess? Overnight, it seems to generate all sorts of stuff on the work surfaces with pots to wash, that I was sure I’d done the day before. It was the pesky chip-pan today though. The oil had become a bit of a murky mass, so I decided it was time to give it a jolly good clean-up. It seemed to take hours. And it’s not finished yet. Bits of it are still in the dishwasher and I’ve got to put it all back together tomorrow. Let’s hope I can remember which screw goes in where.

Must’ve exhausted myself with all that scrubbing of the chip pan though, because no sooner had I sat in an easy chair after lunch than I fell asleep. Mum woke me up with “Are you asleep, Anne?” Well, yes, I had dropped off but now you’ve asked, I’m awake. Pottered about a bit then, tackling the chip pan once more, before having another little sit down with a cup of tea….and fell asleep again. Woke up this time to John calling on the mobile. Yikes! I’m awake! I’m awake! Honest!

At that point, I thought perhaps a bit of fresh air would do me good, so I suggested to Mum we have a little walk round the garden. I had my eye on the outside temperature, the clouds, and whether the trees were waving about, to gauge the reaction we might get once she got outside. Temperature: 19.5 degrees. Clouds: overcast but no rain. Wind velocity: nothing much. Good. She agreed, a walk would be nice. OK – so, do you want to put your socks, shoes and coat on, Mum? Yes. I’ll just go to the loo first…..

I watched the mercury falling as I waited for Mum to get ready. 18.5 degrees. It’ll be fine. Three-quarters of an hour later, she was ready. It’s now 17.5 degrees. Silent prayer that it won’t feel too cold….. In truth, it wasn’t. We had a lovely stroll round the garden with the exact same observations and questions as we had yesterday. “Oh, what a lovely peonie!!” she exclaimed. “Yes, it’s pretty, isn’t?” I responded. “Is there just the one bud?” she asked. “No, there are a few more – look, over here.. and here.”

But it doesn’t matter that we have the same conversation, because we also have a laugh too. The laughter is usually in response to her statement, ‘I can’t remember’, because her eyes twinkle up and she looks a bit apologetic. She always starts the giggle and it makes me join in as well. She’d love to remember, but she can’t. She’d love to have a rational conversation, but it’s gone. Ah well.

After our evening meal we watched a bit of TV – more of The Chase but this time it was The Family Chase – and then I yawned my way through another chat with John. He was insistent that I go to bed earlier. Yes, boss. So, I shall try. I think he was also feeling rather tired as he looked weary this evening and couldn’t quite remember what drugs he’d had today. The days are all blurring into one for him and it’s very hard being in a room on your own with no company other than a mobile phone. It’s also very hard being this side of the mobile phone unable to run errands, hold his hand, cuddle him or interpret for him when the medics talk gobbledegook.

But we soldier on and pray for those whose lives have been disrupted forever by the virus. The figures of people who have died as at 9 o’clock this morning is 711, with 4,399 people infected. It’s still awful, but they tell me on the telly that it’s getting better. Hope so. God bless.