No longer leukaemia….but isolation, Day 42

You could have knocked me down with a feather this morning. My phone rang and, when I answered it, it was my brother, Graham, phoning from Oz. It is rarely he who phones us, (normally leaving the communication side of things to Gail) so momentarily, I wavered between the thrill of hearing his voice and then anxiety that he might be imparting some unwelcome news. It turned out that the former emotion was the one to hold on to.

He had celebrated his 70th birthday in February, at which time I’d arranged for special bottles of wine to be delivered from Mum, and they had finally arrived. He was phoning to thank Mum very much. Well, she was delighted to talk to him as you can imagine, and it bucked her up so much so, that when she got dressed later, she also put on her make-up and she looked like a proper bobby-dazzler for the rest of the day.

After the phone call, I went to inspect the pond and, having left the pump on overnight, I saw that the water level had fallen by about four inches. So, we know that the bloomin’ thing is still leaking, much to our dismay (and probably the neighbour’s too, as her house floats down the street). Not yet tried to fix it though, as John’s still coughing well, and his hip is still giving him jip. Relying on John’s brilliant expertise, as usual, as it’s all a mystery to me and I have no idea where to start to mend it.

Talking of things all broken, for the third day in a row another item in the kitchen fell apart. This time it was the dishwasher front. It just came orf in me ‘and, guv!! And, funnily enough, the dishwasher doesn’t work without a front on it. Not tried to mend that yet either. And I do hate washing up……

But, oddly, despite things not quite going according to how I’d like them, I felt less pressured today. The reason? Well, the weather!! It was okay to be pottering around the house today, as it wasn’t stunningly warm or sunny. The weather was great for gardening, but I didn’t feel I had to be out there. What a topsy-turvy world I’m living in now, to be sure!

Talking of a topsy-turvy world – yoga has been my lifesaver for many a year, as has meditation. With a fast-paced life at work, and then in more recent years, with the stresses of John’s illness, my ‘go-to’ has been yoga practice. For five years I’ve been a regular at Jaime’s BodyMind Yoga classes and there, with her guidance and wisdom, I have built up strength and resilience. But now we’re in lock down, bizarrely, I am not using my ‘go-to’ saviour as much as I thought I would! How mad is that? Jaime is posting great classes online, but apart from the odd stretch or two, I’m finding I can’t quite concentrate….. and my muscles have now gone to mush. I am sure I need to get back to it, folks – more planks and downward dogs – but will I? Lock down is messing with my head! And clearly my body! Anyone else?

The other thing that is messing with my head is the news. Honestly, at different moments, I am either numbed by the repetition of it all; or elated by the stories of heroic deeds and people; or appalled by the stupidity of some people; or disgusted at the cruelty of others. This roller coaster of emotions every day is just exhausting! I am beginning to see the merits of the back-to-back TV programmes we have on for Mum like Tenable, Tipping Point and the Chase…..

But I do watch the news anyway – and find today’s editions only a little lighter in tone than yesterday’s (although I’m not sure I am keen on the ‘fighting talk’ offered by Boris now he’s back). However, Malcolm reminded me that the figures of the infectees I am picking off the government stats page are those who’ve been tested not hospitalised – he’s right, of course, and I apologise for misleading anyone…… so, as of yesterday there were 4,310 people who were tested as positive for COVID-19, and there were 360 COVID-19 associated deaths in hospitals.

There is a glimmer of hope in the figures, but that’s still an awful lot of people affected by the virus with family members anxious or grieving. Particularly poignant was a tweet yesterday on Twitter by a man just released from hospital, telling us he’d been grateful for all the medics’ care and that he’d thought, for a while there, that ‘he was a goner’. Today, his friend tweeted that he had, in fact, then died at home, overnight. Shocking. My heart goes out to his family and friends and everyone who’s experiencing such trauma just now. Peace be with you all.