No longer leukaemia……but isolation, Day 35

Just as yesterday didn’t feel Sunday-like, today didn’t feel Monday-like, either. None of that dread of work or challenging tasks to do, for us!! We can swan about within our own four walls (or within the garden hedge confines) and do as we please.

And, as there was no Freddie visit today – which, of course, hasn’t happened for weeks – there were no plans to entertain him or be entertained by him. No Paw Patrol or Mister Maker; no making cakes or kaleidoscopes; no climbing the imaginary mountain into the loft with a little picnic, or creating a den magically lit full of little candles; no hugs and no kisses. The sandpit, newly filled in readiness for Spring fun, stays closed; the paddling pool waits to be filled and paddled in and the little ‘forest’ at the bottom of the garden is devoid of a high-pitched, chattering little voice.

No, no responsibility for a little one today….. nor next week, or the week after that, or for the foreseeable…….. and the swanning about, the doing as we please, doesn’t have the same thrill to it that it might normally have.

The lock down gets no easier just because we are four weeks in. I am not used to it; and I have not yet shaken off the sense of bereavement. Our lives used to be so full of the family coming and going, Sunday lunches, staying over, leaving the children with us, leaving the dogs with us, or us going to stay at theirs, to look after the grandchildren while the adults were away. None of that now, and it’s taking some getting used to.

But we busy ourselves, nonetheless. For a start, there’s Mum to look after. Generally, she’s quite well-behaved, and she’s funny sometimes as her memory plays tricks on her – and us! “Would you like a cup of tea, Mum?” “No, thank you, I think I’ll pass on that just now.” A Nano-second later: “Did you make me a cup of tea?” “Erm…no? You said you’d pass?” Then the inevitable: “Did I?” And we fall about laughing.

Not always though, as old habits die hard and emerge to a little irritation. Sometimes we find it’s hard to forgive a transgression that may actually be due to her age, but we recognise it as a ‘Hazel-ism’. “Will you set the table for tea, Mum?” “No, I’m too tired. I’ve done a lot of walking today.” I think the walking involved going to the front door and back. And perhaps into the kitchen and back. Ah, well. And then I remember, she wasn’t nicknamed ‘The Queen’ all those years ago for nothing!!!

In other news, our ‘busyness’ saw John clearing out the left-over paints, fence staining stuff and plumbing equipment from the garage. He decided to give them away and put them out on the front drive with a note, ‘Free – Support Your Local Hoarder‘. Delighted, we saw that within hours the laden table was nearly empty as the local population helped themselves. We do hope their choices have come in handy for them.

We did more outside work today, too, with John jeopardising his back by climbing onto the ‘Man Shed’ roof and fitting more soffits and fascias, and me transplanting more pot plants into the (now) flowerbed at the bottom of the garden and hefting the hefty pieces of wood into place in the bed beyond the plum tree.

On a more leisurely note, I took myself outside this evening at about ten o’clock to gaze at the star-studded sky and watch the satellite whizz by. Such an exhilarating sight, yet soothing at the same time, and a reminder of the speck I am in the universe. Let’s not sweat the small stuff, eh?

Sweating the big stuff are still all those front-line workers, especially those in hospitals and care homes looking after the Coronavirus-infected and the dying people. In hospitals, 4,676 people were counted as infected yesterday and 449 people died. Fewer than previously, but still an enormous number, and an enormous number of families affected. We may be specks in the universe, but we are the whole in someone’s life just now and we must keep our nerve in staying put to avoid the infection spreading and perhaps spiking again. Let’s hold tight to get it right.