Month: March 2020

My alarm clock rang, and I snoozed it. Twice. Then, a voice in my ear said, “Your Mum’s here,” so I lifted my head, bleary-eyed, and looked towards the door. Yep. Sure enough, there she was. “I’m not very well,” she said. “Oh, dear! What’s wrong?” said I, raising myself up on one elbow. “I’m not very well.” she stated more firmly. Clearly, that was as much as I was going to get.

It turned out that she was having one of her ‘turns’ where she feels a bit dizzy and that affects her innards, one way or another. And dang! I had totally forgotten to bring her emergency tablets from her flat for such an event. As it was so early in the morning and I could go in the back way, I risked an outing and sped along in the car to collect her tablets, washing every surface I could find when I got back, just in case the pesky virus had been lurking anywhere. Didn’t see a soul.

I put her back to bed, having dosed her with a tablet, and with the security of a bowl ‘just in case’, and she slept like a log for another three hours. Hubby, his duty done on the line: ‘Your Mum’s here’, also fell back to sleep for nearly the same amount of time.

That left me to potter about, fiddling with this and that, and really not getting an awful lot done, but paying attention to those little things that normally one glosses over, like cleaning up a coffee stain on the carpet, emptying the dust out of a trinket box and re-filling it with clean clobber, and sparkling up Mum’s rings as she slept.

In no time at all, lunchtime arrived. John was up already, then Mum was up and padding into the kitchen, unsure as to whether to have breakfast cereal or a lunchtime sandwich. We opted for the sandwich and a cup of tea, which went down OK with no ill-effects.

Exhausted by my efforts with the trinket box in the morning, I felt it absolutely necessary to take a rest, drink tea, and sit and watch TV for an hour after lunch with that legal entertainer, Judge Rinder, again.

Afterwards, the weather, being pleasantly mild with very little wind, prompted a little walk round the garden. We visited John’s ‘Man Cave’ at the bottom of the garden where he was in residence, and Mum duly admired his handiwork to date. She also duly admired the very same things she had admired a day or two before, and also on previous days before that. It was touching though, as we searched for the goldfish in the pond, exclaimed over the frogspawn that was there and marvelled at the birdsong in the air.

But, as the day wore on, old worry guts emerged and took over somewhat, to the point that, I pretty much bit John’s head off when he offered to help me prepare the evening meal. Oh, dear!! Why do I do that?? No idea, but note to self: must find an hour for respite each day on my own …..

Made a lovely stir-fry for our meal, but it didn’t go down well with Mum as the vegetables had some resistance to the bite. So, John and I ate ours while I cooked Mum’s for another 20 minutes – which ruined the lovely, juicy steak in it……I could have wept. And wept some more, as the constancy of distance between us and our family is brought into focus each time we have some form of contact with them. They are all doing a sterling job of keeping in touch with photos and chatty video-links, but it’s not the same……

And it never will be the same for many families in the future, and particular families now who have lost loved ones to COVID-19 – 1,789 deaths so far, including a 13 year-old boy – or who are anxiously supporting a family member with the virus – over 25,000 infected that we know of. Dear Lord, comfort us all.

And here’s a comfort, from Charlie Mackesy’s book, The Boy, the mole, the fox and the Horse, which I recommend to you:.

We have two cats – one of whom, Shadow, is rather senile. He spends much of the day mewing at us for food. We may just have put food into his bowl, but he wanders across to the cupboard where we store the cat food, looking plaintively at us, and miaows. Constantly. John never wanted the cats originally, but the kids did, so we all bullied him into it. That was fifteen years ago. The kids have left home and we are left with the cats. Poor John.

For a while, for two years in fact, my very dear friend Anita cared for the cats when John’s immunity was very compromised, and he had respite from them. But now they’re back. Miaowing, continuously. John says: “Anyone want a cat??” Well, words to that effect anyway!!

I was wondering why the situation with the cats had raised its ugly head just now – but then I remembered. Oh, yes, of course, we are in isolation and our awareness of all things at home is heightened. Under normal circumstances, we’d be out and about pottering about, so we wouldn’t notice home stuff quite as much. Here’s the new normal, folks!!

That aside, we are coping very well with our isolation. John is continuing with jobs, and I am continuing with the general household chores, which, for those of you who know me well, will know that I adore….. harrumph!

Anyway, today’s job was finishing off the threshold strip into the store room. This involved raising the door a bit to accommodate the strip, i.e. taking the door off and planing the bottom to ease it by a few millimetres. Easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy, you might say…… until you factor in the fact that our house is very old and creaking, literally, at its hinges. There was nothing much in the door frame to screw into once the hinges had been removed, so the ol’ man’s had to use his ingenuity once again and fill in the holes and glue stuff together. He’ll be finishing that job tomorrow, then…. no rush!

Not really sure what I have done today of any note – been very busy worrying though…… mostly about John having to visit the doctor’s surgery for his three-monthly injection for prostate cancer (there was no alternative option). And then taking delivery of groceries (thank you, Malcolm), cleaning mirrors, washing, cooking, tidying, washing all incoming objects to the house, worrying, baking (made a banana cake), following social media, caring for Mum, more worrying, some meditation, more social media, a game or two of e-Scrabble, and a bit of TV.

And, two very exciting episodes, whereby 1) a parcel was delivered containing the dried fruit & nuts John had ordered weeks ago, and 2) a prescription was delivered. Yes, folks, the all-important inhaler arrived!!! Whoopee-doop!! John (and me!) may breathe again.

Highlights of the day for me have been communications from friends and family; lovely emails, comments on the blog, text messages with uplifting thoughts, and a great video from my friend, Louise. Such activity is what keeps us going, so thank you, one and all who are talking to us in one way or another.

Once more, we note the progress of the virus; a slight slackening of pace (but don’t read too much into that they say) in infection and death rates: 9,000 and 1,408 today respectively; a quarter of the hospital doctors off sick or in isolation, with 3 consultants dead; and slick preparations of conference centres to house all those who soon may need a hospital bed.

And finally, this from Ian McMillan’s Twitter page today, which I think is rather poignant. God bless.

Moon look down on me,

Protect me as I sleep,

And light a shining future,

For my grandchildren to keep.

Well, I can recommend a ‘Brazen Hussy’ to anyone!! Slept like a log after a couple of those lovely cocktails last night and woke up with more of a spring in my step this morning. The going forward of the hour was a blessing as I was able to catch up with our church service on-line at the appointed time, in the knowledge that others from the congregation were doing the same. Struggled a bit to concentrate though, with all sorts of distractions here at home.

John also got up in good time and he, too, felt a bit better this morning. Still coughing well, of course, but that’s to be expected without his inhaler. Otherwise, he’s still pottering about and doing jobs, for which I am very grateful. Today’s job was to lay the brass threshold strips joining the new kitchen floor to existing floors into the hall, the store room and the utility room. And they look fab! Dead pleased with them, I am!

Mum took her time getting up and coming downstairs, with a few ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’, and absolutely no memory of having refused paracetamol yesterday to ease the pain of her fall at all. Quite willing to take some this morning though, which reduced the possibility of more fuss than necessary! Ooooh, she does love a drama!

Had a lovely text from Tracey, who does Mum’s cleaning and general looking-after of her on a Wednesday, and so I got little notelets out for Mum to write something in return, as she’d expressed a wish to do that last week. But, no… didn’t feel like it today, so we posted a video instead, and Mum felt like a film star. She was like the Queen on Friday, Humpty Dumpty yesterday, and a film star today…. I wonder what tomorrow will bring for her?

No ‘big stuff’ for John today, just a snooze this afternoon while I pottered about upstairs vacuuming all the bloomin’ cat hairs up. The cats aren’t allowed in the bedrooms, but they do love to prowl the landing, where they seem to shed hair by the bucketload, which then gets walked into every room….

John may not have done ‘big stuff’ today but he has excelled himself in the kitchen with high cuisine. Steak and chips for tea, and a luxury ‘paleo’ chocolate mousse, and then to baking a ‘paleo’ loaf this evening. Mmmmm…. the house is heady with its scent as I write – delicious!!

Disappointing news today though is that Oakes’, the farm shop, has suspended its delivery service now. We were doing very well on the grocery front with support from dear friends and the delivery from Oakes’. Despite the fact that John is in the ‘shielded’ group, it has been impossible so far to get any on-line deliveries from any of the major supermarkets, either because we’re queuing to get onto the website, or there are no delivery slots available.

Our difficulty is that John is following a specific diet, and many of the products aren’t sold locally. But no matter, meat and two veg works very well – we don’t have to be fancy! And we are still able to eat – there are some who are not, and who are relying ever more heavily on food banks daily.

For these people, for those who are sick or dying from the virus (the toll in the UK today: those infected nearly 20,000; those who have died, over 1,200), all the carers and front-line workers, we lit a Candle of Hope in our window, along with many other residents in the village and churches together as a symbol of love, faith, hope and prayer during this crisis.

And now, after our day of ‘busy doing nothing…..trying to find lots of things not to do‘, I am going to take the most delightful memory of the day and treasure it: little William, on a video call, showering kiss after kiss on me – mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah! Oh, boy! How my heart overflows!

The day started so well. Hubby brought me a cup of tea in bed (thank you) and we got up betimes. Made a great breakfast, well,…. ‘ish’. Buckwheat blinis with buttered mushrooms – sounds good doesn’t it? Only I used hazelnut milk for the blinis which was slightly bitter, so they weren’t as spectacular as I was expecting. Despite that, I’d definitely make them again!!

Mum also got up fairly early and got her own breakfast. She also made her way to the sink to wash her bowl afterwards, and that’s when disaster struck. She was a little too short to reach the sink, so I offered the wooden duck board that I usually use at the cooker for her to stand on. The trouble is, she really doesn’t remember from one minute to the next, and I haven’t quite got the hang of that. She forgot she was on the board and stepped back, only to fall off the edge of it and fell – kerdumpf! Straight on her bum! At first, I thought she’d knocked herself out on the cupboard behind her, but fortunately that wasn’t screwed into the floor, so she just displaced it, and it was just her rear end that felt the brunt of the fall. We hauled her up and transplanted her onto the sofa in the lounge, fed her with arnica, and monitored her for the rest of the day. Nothing much untoward, other than a little bit of discomfort and an argument when she refused paracetamol. Hey-ho!

I had aimed to clear up what was a very messy kitchen, but didn’t get awfully far with that, opting instead to faff about in the lounge with Mum, drink cups of tea and listen to music. But – I did do all of the ironing!! Feeling a bit smug about that!

John opted to do ‘big stuff’ down the bottom of the garden again before lunch, despite it being rather chilly today; then he had a lovely snooze after we’d eaten, having probably worked just a bit too hard – although, I have to say, not beyond his capabilities, as he didn’t come back injured or anything.

Malcolm had already delivered our groceries from the Co-op, which were very gratefully received, and Chris, from church, offered the run up to the pharmacist today for the long-awaited inhaler. So, with bated breath, we waited. When she rang our doorbell, it was a case of: ‘Do you want the good news, or the bad news?’. The good news was that the script had been sent across to the pharmacy and one of the drugs had been dispensed. The bad news was that it wasn’t the inhaler. Still out of stock of the original one, and the alternative would need to be ordered. Perhaps be in by Monday? Grumble, grumble, worry, worry.

Anxiety levels already being high because of the medication situation, they were heightened by Mother’s ‘fall-from-the-great-height-of-one-inch’. I did my best to hide a bit this afternoon by spending the best part of an hour up in our bedroom to calm my nerves, but to be honest, it didn’t help greatly.

And so, despite hubby’s best efforts, I became more and more irritated with our situation. Nothing particular, but suffice to say, we had words. It’s ridiculous, isn’t it, that you always take things out on your nearest and dearest?? But there you are – that’s the pattern of things.

Anyway, dear John made the most glorious cocktail (or two) this evening – a little number called ‘The Brazen Hussy’, the title of which always makes me laugh – and we settled down to enjoy a film. We watched ‘Rocket Man’, the film about Elton John – and we both enjoyed the story. Wasn’t sure it compared to Bohemian Rhapsody, but I suppose that’s a matter of opinion!

And so to bed, with the sobering news that there have been over a thousand deaths from COVID-19 to date, and over 17,000 people infected. Dear Lord, deliver us.

Ha! Spoke too soon about Mum being better at our house, yesterday! It never does to tempt fate, does it?? I had another lie-in this morning (have concluded that the years of running myself ragged have finally caught up with me!!), so didn’t check on Mum until late. When I did, she was up and dressed, so I thought, “Whoopee-doop! All OK there then.” But no, her eyes were bothering her. She suffers from blepharitis (although it never bothers her normally) and I think she made a mistake this morning. Finding her room a bit warm, she turned the radiator down – only she hadn’t. She’d turned it up. Blimey! It was like a dry sauna in there. So a big fuss about her eyes, pretty much all day (she’s not a great patient!). In the end, I offered a warming eye pack which didn’t go down well, and then a walk round the garden, which, surprisingly, did go down well once we’d wrapped her up like the Queen, complete with headscarf to keep the wind from her head.

Happiness was restored with the cobwebs blown away, a piece of cake with her afternoon cup of tea, and a bit of fun with the dry ice that came in with John’s specialist eye serum. The fun was, of course, putting the ice in a cauldron, face-timing the grandchildren, then filling the cauldron with water to create a fabulous overflow of ‘smoke’ which tumbled over the cauldron’s rim onto the worktop, over its edge and sent whispering to the floor.

As a matter of fact, I was the most excited among those who watched the spectacle. John can regularly play with the ice each time it arrives if he wants and, being a scientist, he knows the properties of the ice inside out; Mum exclaimed and suitably said “Wow” in the right places but wanted get back to watching The Chase; and the kids were even less enthralled. Freddie had seen it once before at our house first-hand, so watched for a bit, then asked Harriet if he could watch a programme on TV. William also had a bit of a look, but shot off pretty quickly to discover something far more interesting in his own home, and all we saw was his retreating bum on the screen. Ah, well, the best laid plans…… I enjoyed it anyway!!

John did more ‘big stuff’ down the bottom of the garden today AND……. wait for it…… had a fiddle with his restoration project in the garage….the car….. He even got the manual out and started looking up the intricacies of how to repair a specific part of it too. Now that’s what I call progress!!

However, on the downside, the ol’ man isn’t feeling all that great. He’s still plodding on, of course, but struggling with his breathing. Having run out of drugs in general and one of his inhalers last Friday, it wasn’t until Monday that the pharmacy delivered. But no inhaler, just an ‘owing’ slip. By Wednesday, things are getting pretty tight, so I phone up the pharmacy to find out what’s happening. Ah…no, sorry, we can’t get that one, none at the warehouse, sorry….. Oh! Blimey!! Phone call to the surgery – what can you offer instead, please? No worries, an alternative prescribed and the script sent to the pharmacy. Thursday: no delivery. Friday: no delivery. Phoned the pharmacy – no reply; phone call to Good Samaritan, Malcolm, to call in to retrieve the drugs, who then duly reports that there’s no script there. Eeeesh….hubby is really struggling now, so another phone call to the surgery, another script promised. Fingers crossed it arrives tomorrow.

But, as John says, it’s not a panic relatively-speaking, against a backdrop of all those with COVID-19 who really are struggling to breath, with last count of 11,658 people infected, including the Prime Minister and some of his Ministers, and 578 people dead. Yep, that’s the British stiff, upper lip for you folks!!! And, onwards……

Another gloriously sunny, sky blue day today! Slightly cooler than yesterday but, nevertheless, inviting enough to sit companionably in the garden with John, on the patio again, with warm mugs of tea.

Still feeling very tired, we lay in bed until 10 o’clock before venturing downstairs and breakfasting. Mum followed us down and managed to locate her bowl, spoon, cereal and milk without too much direction today. Already, I think she is looking a little better than when she arrived – must be doing something right, I think.

But after that leisurely start, we had an extremely busy day!!

We had decorated the kitchen a few weeks ago – I painted the walls and ceiling, and John and youngest son, Andrew, laid the new flooring – all extremely successfully, I might add! But it’s not finished, so we had a little go at tidying up some bits today, replacing some of the kick-boards under the cupboards and setting up a frame for a new cupboard above the freezer. Still more to do, but we were mightily pleased with ourselves for not yet giving up on what has seemed to be a BIG task.

After lunch and an hour of TV (The Trouble with Maggie Cole this time) to aid the digestion of our food, it was an afternoon of pottering about for me, tidying away the decorating materials and cleaning up, and John at the bottom of the garden again, moving more ‘big stuff’ and starting to fit a new door on the shed. Eeeh but, we shan’t half soon be spick and span!!!

Other than continuing with ‘jobs-to-be-done’, our particular pleasure today was chatting with friends – either electronically or on the phone. Uplifting emails in response to my blog and contact with people we only intermittently see, as well as uplifting support form my prayer group. And phone calls – so lovely to hear from Alan, whom we haven’t spoken to for a good while, and to chat to daughter-in-law Harriet, who is still working and trying to care for her young family as well as her elderly and sick father, and solace in talking to my ‘bestie’, Dawn.

We are reminded by this contact that social togetherness is so important, making us truly grateful for dear friends and family. Emotions are near the surface just now, and when, at eight o’clock this evening, we stepped outside to applaud our wonderful NHS workers and all the carers looking after us all, it wasn’t a surprise that the whole village was resounding with the sound of clapping, nor was it a surprise that I choked up.

With the death toll rising and currently at 578, there are now 11,658 confirmed cases of the virus. ICUs are beginning to fill up and doctors are warning that they will be full by the weekend. Against this backdrop, we do well to stay at home to avoid the spread of the pesky thing, but our hearts go out to all those who are ill, their families and their carers. No wonder there was such a din in Balsall Common this evening making some noise to show our appreciation of the work the carers do!

Concluding with the words now on everyone’s lips – stay safe everyone.

What a beautiful day, weather-wise!! Such glorious blue skies and warm sunshine! So much so, that we chose to breakfast on our patio this morning, nay, feast, on banana pancakes, smothered in maple syrup and sprinkled with raspberries and pecan nuts. It was absolutely glorious.

Mum was in her dressing gown pretty much all morning, but, once dressed, she also ventured out onto the patio with us. We wrapped her up in blankets (even though it was 19 degrees), making her look like she was sat in an old-fashioned Turkish bath (tee-hee!).

But we thoroughly enjoyed our hour or two sunning ourselves outside today. The birds were a-tweeting and butterflies were a-flutter-by-ing, generating such tranquillity that, for a while, we forgot that we are in a Corona-virus crisis.

Of course, reality set in when the delivery of goods from our local farm shops, Oakes’, arrived at lunchtime, reminding us that there are such good people in our midst, caring for us as we isolate ourselves from our beloved community. And, on that note, John got THE letter from the NHS today, reminding him that he is identified as someone at risk of severe illness if he catches the virus. We knew that, but it’s nice to know (sort of) that the ‘authorities’ recognise it too. STAY AT HOME and WASH YOUR HANDS is the refrain….. yes, we will. And so to washing all of the bags and goods received from Oakes’. Yay!! Lucky me!! And more hand-washing.

But the day was still beckoning outside, so, after lunch and an hour of day-time TV (Judge Rinder, this time), neither John nor I could resist the call of ‘jobs-to-do’, and we ventured once again into the fresh air to tackle those things that we haven’t previously had ‘time’ to do. Me, to do some dead-heading and weeding; John, to continue to deal with ‘big stuff’ down the bottom of the garden.

In between times, of course, we have chatted to a whole host of people on-line. The family: beautiful conversations – thrilling, heartbreaking, moving, loving – especially when little ones lean into the camera to plant a kiss on the face they see their end of the phone – ours! And the excitement of a mention of our Andrew, on Tom Aikens’ (look him up folks!) live Instagram feed; Friends: who send uplifting messages or silly jokes or political commentary; long-lost family who pop up out of the blue because they are thinking of us just now. Oh, wow!! And the Vicar, who is checking that we are OK. So thankful for it all.

And this, against a background of a total of 461 deaths from the virus to date; Prince Charles infected with the virus; over 500,000 volunteers offering to support the NHS in this crisis; and the prospect of us all applauding those brilliant front-line workers in the NHS and caring professions on Thursday evening at 8 o’clock. And our especial thanks to our own surgery, supporting John to provide alternative medicine today, when supplies of existing products are unavailable, and also prescribing other drugs recommended by the consultant.

God bless them all.

So, here we are a year on since my last post. We have had a year of ups and downs with John being especially subject to depression, but we’re still dancing….just.

But ain’t life fun? It not just the cancers, and lung condition and the depression to contend with now. Oh, no! Just like everyone else, we are in isolation. We have been for a week or two, but yesterday, the government made it clear – STAY AT HOME. So we are.

Very dear family, friends and neighbours have been coming to our rescue with food parcels so far, and we just pray that they, as they go about the business of supporting the vulnerable, stay well and safe.

So, in her wisdom, my dear daughter-in-law suggested we do a diary of the events in our household. I am not sure that we’ll keep it up but we’ll try.

As of last week, we invited my Mum to stay with us. Our thinking being that if she were to become ill in her sheltered accommodation, then we would be unable to visit or support her in any way. So we bit the bullet. Frankly, it is something I swore I would never do, have my Mum stay with us, as I was sure it would kill John off. But actually, so far, not too bad. Even celebrating her 94th birthday on Sunday with was pleasant enough.

Today, has been a beautiful sunny, clear blue sky day. Warm with a very light wind. A pity in some ways because I am feeling so exhausted that I wanted to have a duvet day today. Didn’t happen, but I did have a bit of a duvet morning, although I had got up a couple of times to answer the door. Our dear friend Malcolm had been to the local Co-op for us and brought supplies, then the postie came with a parcel. Just wondering how long the parcel and letter post deliveries will continue. Not sure the government are going to class the work as essential, but we’ll see.

Early morning messages came in from several groups of friends in WhatsApp groups. One, from my friend, Chris, bewailing the fact that her boiler had stopped working. Plumber due to go tomorrow and fingers crossed it’ll be fixed.

John had made us all cups of tea this morning, so that was a bit of luxury and, as I finally made my way downstairs, middle son, Michael, phoned. Had a lovely chat for a good half hour – they were sunning themselves in the garden with a cuppa, whilst William had a nap. Bliss.

We had a bit of lunch then, of a chicken, leek and mushroom soup which was delicious, and then slouched in front of the TV catching up with a couple of programmes – Breeders and The Heist – good fun.

The day is interspersed with messages from all sons of the family – and in particular, beautiful video clips of the family at work and play; my old ‘gang’ – friends from schooldays; my college ‘girls’ – friends from college days; and the prayer group I belong to ‘Exploring Faith’. Each and every one, brightens up the day.

Equally, the phone calls are highlights. My friend, Carol, who lives in Derby, phoned and we had a good old natter. They are all OK there for now, although Carol is obviously anxious about John, her husband who is in his eightieth year.

Had a little toddle out into the garden and the sunshine with Mum this afternoon. Armed with her stick and leaning on me, she did very well, admiring the fish in the pond and the flowers blooming just now. At the end of our toddle, we sat on the bench by the patio door to listen to the birds and take in the sun. I thought it’d be nice to have a spritzer or something as we sat there, so we drank a bottle of Babycham between us in champagne saucers, feeling very privileged to be alive. We watched as John moved ‘big stuff’ from one end of the garden to the other.

Spoilt by egg and chips for tea (memories of John’s Grandma – ‘Nanan’), we have now adjourned to the lounge where we intend to watch TV and phone youngest son in a bit. That’s us today, folks.